35 and never married.. Emotional baggage?

So I dated this guy who is 35 and I'm 22. Big age diff. He was a nice guy.. Well my friends say he's an ass but I know there's more to him. He briefly brought uo a girl he dated back in the day and how he moved all the way across the country bc of her and she was the one girl he would've married but got tired of chasing her. But I never got any details and never got any details about much of his emotional side. He was a haooy guy to be around and fun but went out and drank often. We stopped dating bcc he said it was the age but seemed like as soon as he saw I was serious about him he pulled away, he had a pic of us from a date in his apartment and took it down shortly after he realized I think that I was serious. We ended up running I to each other agajn and I started staying the night at his place on the weekend sometimes and we went to the movies.. Tried being friends.. Quote went to the movies and stuff. Well this week he was out and ran Into my sis and she started telling him how I could do better and he told her we were just friends and I'm thinking sorry didn't know friends stayed the night at each other's okace. Well he called me and said to delete his number and he was gonna delete mine and such and that he doesn't get why I like him bc he's an asshole and I started saying he's a closed book and acts like damaged goods and he's like.. I am.. people don't change I just wanna be left alone.. So I was like than hang up the phone and he's like no I'm not an asshole and I'm like well u just caled urself one. But anyway that's the gist. He apologized the next day for the 2am drinking drama and was like I guess the friend thing didn't work for us. I'm not the guy for you, sorry I'm a jackass. So anyway all of my friends are telling me that it's not me and he has problems and would do this w any girl, but I feel like it is me bc if he truly liked me even w his problems he would wanna be w me. Just sad bc I rlly gonna miss him. Think It's just him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He may not feel like he can live up to your expectations. Guys with low self-esteem sometimes do this to avoid what they feel will be certain rejection later.

    I used to be fat, and there were a couple of girls who actually liked me in my first year of college. I felt so bad about myself, though, that I didn't want to pursue anything with them. I was just sure that they would come to their senses later and realize that I was a fat guy who wasn't on their level.

    So this guy could have a similar issue where he feels that you want all these things that he can't provide or *thinks* he can't provide. Some people--women as well as men--recoil from the thought of marriage and family, basically anything that might tie them down.

    So he may just be wanting to remain free from obligation even though he likes you. That fear is a powerful thing.


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What Guys Said 2

  • 35 , never married, . Big age diff., acts like damaged goods , 2am drinking drama
    You guessed it, didn't you?

  • Sounds like a lot of baggage there!


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