I think I'm in love with a girl but can't do anything about it. What should I do please?

Hello, I'm 21 years old and never had a girlfriend.

Last Saturday, while I was doing my workout at the gym I met a girl at that place and tried to introduce myself (which usually I can't do it, since I'm shy).
Since then, I did not see her anymore and keep thinking about her for a week. As being a shy person, I am unable to make a move, and since I never had a girlfriend I don't know if it is supposed to be love.

She will probably show up at the gym tomorrow. Now, I'm facing a difficult situation. I don't know what to do, since I lack of confidence and can't do the move.
I don't even know if I'm in love with her. I'm confused.

Will I stay single forever, and will miss something in my life?
or would you help me out to overcome such issue?

I'm sure that you guys have some good advices to such a person like me who has failed miserably till now.

Please, tell me what to do. Thanks in advance

  • 21 - never had a girlfriend. Looser
    Vote A
  • 21 - never had a girlfriend. It's ok, it's not unusual at all.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, there are various creative ways you could think of to let her know how you feel in a way you might not be too afraid to do, but if that's absolutely not an option, then you need to start working on your confidence. Start with smaller things just outside your comfort zone and work your way up at your own pace. You'll notice that the more you move out of your comfort zone, the bigger your comfort zone becomes and the more you'll find yourself able to do. If you do your best you should eventually be able to ask a girl out. :)

    • I introduced myself which I'm proud. However asking her out sounds too be too difficult as for now. I hope that she'll still come to the gym so I'll have more opportunities to ask her number at least. Otherwise, I would have missed an opportunity and will regret it.

    • Well since you've introduced yourself you can try to get to know her better. If you grow closer, you might eventually find it easier to ask her out because you know her and you can try to flirt a little.

    • Thanks for the advice :)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Don't be so quick to call it love. Try working up the nerve to introduce yourself

    • I introduced myself already, even if I was nervous when I did it. It is probably attraction, however she has a personality, and a smile that stole my heart completely. I'll chat a little more with her the next time I see her to confirm what are my true feelings. It might be just attraction, and nothing more :)

  • First of all your age doesn't matter, that is all in your head.
    Secondly I don't think you're in love, you'd know if you were, I'd say you are infatuated. How did the introduction go? Did you talk about anything special?

    Most guys believe you have to be like a real macho guy to get a girl but truth is just be yourself. One of the first things my current bf said to me was how incredibly nervous he was and I loved that he told me, it was quite brave actually. So yes, it's totally fine if you are shy, most girls find it cute. And that is never a bad thing you know.

    Other than that.. you did a great job by going up to her, remember that feeling and build up the same courage to go talk to her next time.

    • In our current society, many of my friends had tons of girlfriends at the age of 21 whereas me I have none of them unfortunately. Well, I introduced myself and she was smiling and starting to ask which college I am and so on. I'll say it started well.

      You're an exception, I believe that most girls would like to see a high self-esteem or at least a minimum. They like someone who has enough confidence to stand up, and to not be afraid of anything. This is what I noticed. In fact, I noticed that most girls to not say all of them have a boyfriend which do not lack of confidence as I do unfortunately.

      I'll do my best to talk to her again, but I think it will be easier this time. The hardest step is to talk to her for the first time, then I think it will go with the flow. Asking her out is a different story though ^^

What Guys Said 5

  • I can't say that what you are feeling is love young man. Love is something that for most of us requires time to grow into , I have never fell instantly in love myself. While it sounds like she has your attention , don't mistake what your feeling for the wrong emotion. It could be infatuation , or just a serious case of desire to be with her. You took a huge step by introducing your self , feed off what you have done when you make your next move , that will make it a little easier to talk to her the next time

    • Oh man I was nervous as hell when I introduced myself. This was indeed a hard think to do for a person like me who have a low self-esteem. You're probably right, love takes time to grow whereas this one was instantaneous.

    • Show All
    • You are totally right, conversations never go as I plan them. This is so true.
      I'll try to keep calm, and to ask her some questions next time. Thanks for your support, I really appreciate.

    • Any time bro. Let her talk as much as she wants , that will make her a lot more comfortable with you

  • To ease your angst over approaching her and fumbling in the process, lower your expectations of yourself, for now, may be wise. This means, do not, and I restate, do not approach her with the objective of asking her out on a date.

    Approach her with the simple goal of conversing with her over a short length of time. As a result, as you pass time with her, you are likely to be more confident and relaxed in being yourself and outgoing with her.

    During, if you are flat out up to asking her out on a date, then, by all means, do so. If you are not, however, then, it maybe a good idea to go for her number or, and a follow up with her, etc.

    If nothing is done, nothing will be accomplished.

    • That's true I approach her as being a potential girlfriend instead of a friend. Indeed, it makes me nervous since I don't want to mess up things. Next time I see her, I'll try to approach her on a different perspective. Thanks for your advice. The last sentence you said is totally right, I really hope that I'll be able to stand up and do something if at the end I really love her.

  • I guess introduce yourself somehow 1st lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1Xv5CacC4Q

    • I did it already, even if I was nervous. I did it, that's all.

  • You met her a total of...1 time. Way too soon to call it love. Maybe she'll come back maybe not. Try to approach other women

    • I try to do my best to approach girls, however I think I have developed a social anxiety towards girls. Around guys I'm not nervous at all, neither I have difficulties to talk to them. Whereas when I want to approach girls, I become nervous and start to process a lot of things in my mind.

  • Uhh, define "love" please. How can you be in love with someone you just met and spoke with for a short period of time? You don't even know here. I would suggest you have lust, not love.

    • After chatting a little I've been able to see what is her personality, and how she behaves with others. Still I don't have enough inputs to qualify it as love, I might be going too fast in the process :)

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