Guy in Mid 30s with commitment issues from hearbreak... Guys help?

Met a guy whos 35, im 22. dated 5-6 months.during that time when he did ask me to be his girlfriend &he said he was so happy& couple days later said he was drunk when he asked& that we aren't there yet and didn't wanna hurt my feelings.(he truly had been drinking that night) I could tell he had commitment issues. he went out a lot on weekends and drank. But he was a good guy, w good morals, good job, etc. super funny. he lost his mom a few years ago and had a horrible heartbreak;he didn't tell me much about but mentioned he moved across country bc he got tired of chasing the same girl. well, while dating i mentioned something along the lines of not seeing him as often as i should for how long weve dated and he was like "ooo she wants to get serious w me" in a silly voice and then was talking and was like "maybe i got proooooblems. " anyway he ended bc of supposed age difference. but i told him he was just wouldn't open up and broke things off bc he knew it got to the point where things should progress. anyway ran into him months later downtown and he took me home w him that night bc his friend was trying to hit on couple months smae thing happened and we woould go to breakfast and then movies . he tried to play it off like we were just friends but it was night when i was over he was like "its just the age diff, i wouldn't want to marry u and die before u "..blah blah. anyway sis ran into him downtown drunk and told him i was took good for him,etc. he called me and said to delete his number and that he would only let me down if he dated me and he was heartbroken and a closed book and people dont change, &doesnt know y i like him bc he's an ass. i said thats not true and cried and said i wanted him to open up. anyway next day, he texted me sorry for 2 am drinking drama and tried to tell me he's not the guy for me. we kind of left it at that bc he never answered what i said back. would he do this to any girl? or was i just not the right one. my friends said there's a reason he's 35 and still single. but i rlly miss him. :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'll respond to this one when I have more time.

    • ok.. not sure if you're joking or serious lol

    • Show All
    • So it sounds like you want to date him and he won't open up (share his feelings). You're also thinking he's using the "the age thing" as a cop out. Did I get the gist of it?

    • pretty much. i mean as of now, its pretty much over. he's told me in the past that i should move on and meet a nice guy from college. i think this was his way of telling me he's no good for me. i know he cares about me but doesn't want a relationship, partly bc he's scared bc of his hearbreak/feels not good enough for me. thats what i took from it when he said all he would do is let me down if he dated me; I've just picked up on things he's said since i met him and put them all together. like he would joke that he has proooooblems, talked about the girl he moved across the country bc of years ago and how she was the one girl he wouldve married, his mom dying. just the other day in the car he randomlt out of no where was just like "time keeps ticking away" and then said something about how people just get stuck in a rut. and then when he ended things said how he's damaged goods, etc. he wasn't even tecnically my boyfriend so i dont wanna reach out again but i wish i could :((

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Uggg! My guy is same age. I don't know if he's had heart break but he's shy too... He just can't seem to tell me if he's interested or not. Its driving me insane. He will say one thing and do another. (say he doesn't want to give wrong impression and then converse and touch and talk to only me in front of others) I decided not to go near him for a bit. Maybe he will make up his mind. You might try that too.

  • I'm in a similar situation, I think you either need to be willing to have some space and see how you feel after that or you need to be willing to take things slowly and at his pace.
    I think space is necessary either way.
    Hope it all works out for you.

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