A good few years ago my ex boyfriend sexual abused me. He was a controlling bully who genuinely frightened me, but could also be extremely nice and put on the water works if he knew he had gone a bit too far... he messed my head up for a year, I wanted to keep him as happy as I could but he could so easily change his mood and had a huge temper issue. Punching walls etc .
Anyway, I finally had counselling and told my mum as she was always pestereing me to go out and have fun, I know I'm not ugly, and understand why she was confused at my reluctant responses.
My friend is setting me up with someone she assures me is lovely. And as Much as I want a boyfriend I am terrified of doing anything with him. I have no sex drive at all, could happily go without it for the rest of my life. I even found after issues with tampons, I had internal scarring from force from my ex, it's sorted now but still.
What do I do. I am scared he won't want to know if he thinks I have way too many issues. It's such a rubbish situation.
Sorry for the long essay I just need some advice.
Stating the obvious now, isn't really that helpful.
Most Helpful Guy
Why didn't you go to the police if he sexually assaulted you? Why were you going out with him in the first place? What happened to your douchebag radar?0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
That story is just dreadful.
However, I wouldn't go on the date because I don't believe you are ready. I trust that your friend has set you up with a nice guy but even the nicest of guys may not be able to get past the barriers you have erected for your own protection.
Make yourself the No.1 priority right now. Dating and BFs can take a back seat for a while. Enjoy your family, friends, work, life, passions, etc. and get back to a state where you can actually see another man being part of your life.
Why not just hang out with this guy and your friend for a while? I think you need to see what guys are like when just doing nothing in particular together so that there is no pressure. Being comfortable around guys is going to be a huge priority for you which will lead onto trust being gained so that you can have a sexual relationship too.
One step. Just one step at at time. I wish you luck with everything.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE