Should I ask if guy back off?

I am very straightforward person. dating with a guy, but I want to take thing slow, being friend first. he asked me out one night, I told him we just met, had lunch in same day, it was out of my comfort zone. the next day he asked me out for dinner again, but i was really busy, rejected him but said maybe another day for lunch. he then told me he thought it is hard to ask me out, I am too jaded. I used to tell him I do no like 'clingy', sometimes i need my own time, really have something to do.when he texted some sweet words, sometimes i really did not get to used it, so last time I just ignore it, casue I do not know how to answer. for me, I'd like to meet him, but since we just met, I like to spend more time know with each other, he stopped texting after that, i do not know if he back off, or of course he has right to decide to move on, date with other girls, should I initiate asking him if he back off? I do not think I did something wrong, in this case, even I think he is unpatience and keep consistency, not worthy dating any more. so i want to make it clear, I am busy with my work , do not want to consuming time to wait o text back and forth text constantly.
I did send one message to him, at the same time, I can see he was online in dating site, but did not get his response. Though he did not delete me from his friend list , now I am thinking it is obvious I should remove that jerk in my contact book


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What Guys Said 1

  • If you're uncomfortable by all means.

    You do need "you time" and we all need to take care of our responsibilities. That is something he needs to learn. If he doesn't get that you should end it with him and find someone else.

    For the next guy though, make sure you're able to date. Nothing sucks like going out with someone like once a month or talking once a week. Such a relationship won't last for long and really such a relationship isn't even a relationship.

    Text or call each other every other day for just a little bit. It doesn't hurt and when you click with someone you'll likely be doing it every day anyways. You don't need to but it can happen.

    You just need to find that fine line. A good start for a new relationship is meeting the person once or twice a week barring schedules. If you're truly uber busy and you want to date then you need to evaluate your life. If you're working 80 hours a week you're likely undateable.

    • I am not that busy, our companies are close, I am ok to meet every 2-3 days, keep texting every day without consuming long time, in that case, I just want to know should i wait for him texting me, or from my side, just give up without initiating asking him

    • If you like the guy text him when you want to text him.

      Don't just make him put in all the effort. Don't over do it yourself.

      It's really up to you though. It doesn't hurt to reach out to him if you're still interested. If you want to play games though, and I think holding off on him and not even trying is playing a game. It's not anything real serious but it isn't exactly nice. If you want to see him again take the initiative!

    • thanks, it is helpful, i think i can text some randoms, see how he responds

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