Most Helpful Guy
I'm not sure you need to.
I think what you need to is move on much faster from guys who aren't interested in more serious relationships. The fact they're into casually dating or having sex isn't good enough. Now it's -possible- that the guys you like, you're in the 'hook up league' but not the 'relationship league' with. But I'm not getting that impression.
I think you just need to meet a whole lot more potential guys and move on faster if the 'click' isn't two way.
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Most Helpful Girl
You don't. Don't EVER lower your standards and give yourself less than what you want unless if your standards are unrealistic.
Yours aren't. It just seems that you have a select group of men that you choose from and you simply need to expand that. You can do that without settling for what you don't want (it's not fair to the guys or to you).
Start simply accepting men that have similar traits to the ones that you want, but not entirely. You said you like shy guys. Why not feel out some confident ones?