How can a girl know if a guy is serious about her, without wasting time?

Guys always pursue me, seem interested and take initiative to make plans, get to know me better, woo me etc. But months may go by and eventually it never ends up heading anywhere. How can a girl stop wasting her time?

I tell guys I don't mess around and only have sex once in a relationship, they still pursue and act interested but when it comes to a relationship. I'm never the one for them. So how can a girl who doesn't experience red flags or bad guys stop wasting her time? How does a guy act when he is serious about a girl?

The last guy would text/call me every day, tell me he loves me every night before going to bed, send flowers on my birthday because he wouldn't see me and put me first. Most guys have been like this but always told me they don't want a relationship once I asked where we were heading or what it means to them.

Also what makes a guy want to commit to a girl? Do they lie when they say you're amazing or when they get really close? Completely confused..


Most Helpful Guy

  • He pursues you single-mindedly... no sense of being played. His conversations are genuine... genuine interest in your life and interests. He promptly replies to your communications... he introduces you to his friends and family.

    • Yeh they do that but still don't want it in the end...

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    • I hope so, thank you :). I am trying very hard to be happy alone. This question was asked for me to understand why it happens to me. I think I understand a little more from your answer. I guess I should never have given the guys who seemed so into me a chance. Because they never came out and openly said they want a relationships (even if they said they loved me)

    • Good luck! :-)

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 2

  • As anon said, single-mindedness. Add to that, you'll want to ask about his past relationships (weird I know).

    • I've had them pursue me single-mindedly. I think its more that I shouldn't have to ask, that I would have known if any of the guys wanted to be with me. At least I now know I really can't get a guy

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    • ahh.. I'm glad you do! i believe people should believe and hope, i wish i still believed i would find love..

    • From all the guy you've dated?

      Can you PM me? This is getting kinda personal.

  • The easiest way to know if he is really into - or if its just his other head talking is to gauge his emotional response to you.

    Someone that really likes you is going to be a bit nervous around you at the beginning (and probably for a bit) and not on his A-game as someone that is just into you for some "fun".

    Women - will always go with the guy that seems most self-assured, confident on his A-game. That only reveals that he is handling you like he would handle any ordinary issue - not someone special and valuable.


What Girls Said 1

  • By asking him.


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