How do I stop sucking with girls?

Look, I suck with girls, badly, okay? Hell, I suck with people in general. I'm just not what they like, I'm not Mr. Hyper-confident, usually my confidence is viewing the rest of the world as below. I suck at flirting, hell I suck at flirting so bad I decided "fuck it, I don't care" and gave up on flirting or even trying with girls anymore. I'm not good at joking around without being insulting after a while and I tend to be emotionally distant because of my depression. When I'm not distant I'm very hyper and ecstatic (though I feel those are really just mental breaks) or I get a very thinly veiled level of aggression. As I said, I don't even try with girls these days, hell, I don't even acknowledge it when I'm interested in a girl. It's stressful because I'm always wearing this mask of some funny lively person when I'm sad, and lonely, and angry on the inside. I try to interact with people but they tend to ignore me if they have someone else to talk to, so I've effectively given up on forming any bonds with people. A close friend of mine just got a boyfriend, and, while I'm not into her I still feel jealous. On top of all of this, I'm not even an ugly guy, what can I do?
About my confidence, to be honest, I genuinely loath myself, to the point that I feel my death would be funny. I can't help it, it's just how I feel. Also, before you say "be yourself" I don't know who "myself" is, I've changed and flipped and worn different personas so often I don't even know who I am anymore, though my true self is likely the depressed self-loathing one anyway. Whoopee


Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't have to be Mr. Hyper-confident or flirty to talk with girls. I think you should just talk to them about anything, like give a compliment, or just ask them how is their day or if it's something you both can relate to, like you both are in the same class, ask if she likes the class or if she likes the teacher. There's many choices and approaches and I don't know which ones would be the best for you. Maybe try them all!

    With your personas/depression/masks/being hyper/ecstatic, I suggest talking to someone, letting it out, just talk. About anything. About nothing. I mean, for me, letting it out helps, even just a little. Maybe you'll figure out something about yourself. Maybe all of these emotions is what makes you YOU. Or maybe you are the self-loathing guy after removing all the masks, and in which case, talk to someone about it. I am all ears!

    I think the people that ignore you if they have someone else to talk to are rude and disrespectful, and I think it's better not to deal with them.

    • But that's all but like, two or three people, and they're all guys. And, I can't help it, I'm utterly pathetic, my profile is fucking Envy for Pete's sake. I'd it weren't for that foolish bond I have with my parents I'd have ended this worthless life long ago.

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    • What makes you say that?

    • Someone who is willing to ask for help about talking to girls and even people in general and then spilling a bit of their emotions to the world seems rather brave and courageous to me and not at all pathetic. And I don't believe anyone's life is worthless.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's funny, because that's exactly how I was at 18. I had a different persona for every group of friends, and even then they changed all the time. I was the funny, flirty, outgoing, friends with everyone girl who really hated herself and was desperately lonely. It's no help, no consolation but it really did get better. Growing up you do learn which pieces of which personas are the real you and you care less and less about putting on a mask.

    My only advice is to worry less about girls and worry more about getting on track mentally - much easier typed than done, too bad there's no manual for it. Go to college, find things and people who genuinely interest you, stop lying about who you are. Bumble your way through the same way the rest of us idiots do, and stop throwing yourself a pity party about it. Are there easier short cuts to be better with girls? Sure. But it's not necessarily going to magically make you happier. It's going to be another persona you put on.

  • Wow! You have a handful on you right now. Instead of flirting how about we ask questions and if a girl acts like she doesn't have the time of day for you... Then she's a worthless slut.. Also tell your friend how you feel. Just sit her down, tell her she can't judge you for what you're about to say, and just to hear you out. Also when you like a girl don't make it such a stressful situation for yourself. When you see her, just go up to her and mention something about her hair, nails, shoes, jewelry, or eyes. Try to smile and seem approachable. And for your depression tell someone about it and eventually tell your crush just lay it on her neatly and slowly. Everything will get better I promise and also pray.😄 good luck!

    • I mean, like I said, I'm not into her, I just feel like he'll stop me from hanging out with her, I am into her friend who I likely don't have a chance with. You see, she may have liked me once, but I was an oblivious fool, now I don't have a chance, so, there's no point in even acknowledging my feelings.

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    • Well, that was all a year ago, and, I avoided her because I thought she liked me and I couldn't handle it anyway. We barely got to know each other and now that I am getting to know her she's really cool. I just, I don't know.

    • First of all don't be urSelf, find yourself. That's the whole purpose of life! And if you really wanted to you could look past the sadness and self loathing and find some happiness. I know this might be harsh... But stop using your pain as a crucht use it as a strength, put all your sadness into a book just use your pain for something good. Also your death would be no where near funny. I think I'd cry, and I don't even know you... It's just the fact that I know ur a good person. And also when it comes to the girl..., we never know that's why having a crush is so complicated but fun because you don't exacly know what to do. Also if you feel you guys are close enough or that really doesn't even matter... ask her out!

  • It's a shame you feel that way but don't give up on interacting with others, including flirting with girls man. You will increase your self confidence soon or later, you're very young.

    • Well, I suck at flirting, I already gave up and plainly don't flirt with any girl ever, and, when I like a girl I cut off contact and squash that emotion.

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    • Me? HAHAHAHA, I wish, women, attracted to me? That'd be the day! Even then, women don't do the approaching.

    • Most of your problems seem to be mental issues. The way you portray and think of yourself is 50% of the battle, if you want girls, you must believe that you can talk perfectly well with girls and go in thinking, I'm going to become good friends with this person because I'm great at talking

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