Is feeling an instant connection a requirement for dating?

I can honestly say I have never felt an instant connection with anyone. So it never plays into my decision making when dating. I have had other people tell me they felt it with me. Some assumed I felt it back and some weren't sure. As I have gotten older it seems as if women have gotten better at seeing that. Which is now posing a problem for my dating life. I can develop feelings but it doesn't happen quickly for me.

So is this instant connection a requirement for you? If not, how long do you give it to see if any feelings develop?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've felt like I was on the same wavelength personality wise enough to want to keep meeting with the person. Not just in dating - even with friends or coworkers. But not that "lightning bolt" thing people talk about. Though a jolt of attraction helps push things along in dating!

    • I develop feelings slowly too, but several guys I've dated seemed to fall weirdly fast. It always seems like a red flag to me if someone is in love too fast.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Kind of, in a way yes. I need to know if I'm going to be able to click with someone. I get that based on the other persons vibe. If their vibe is similar to mine then he'll yeah I'm going to instantly have a connection. For something on the deeper level? It may take me a bit longer (a month or two).

  • There is no instant connection whatsoever. It is overrated.
    I look at , at first date : Can we communicate? Can we speak? Can we laugh together :) Then here you are. Connections are created by people; not some kind of a magical powers.


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