How long do I chase before I give up?

Met this great gal. We hit it off like crazy. First date was great. She says she had a lot of fun. So I text her (not too much) and she replys enthusiastically, but it takes her a while. She is very shy and admits that she sucks at texting. Problem is that it is always me texting her first and she doesn't ask questions about me or try to carry the conversation further. It is starting to feel like maybe I'm the only one interested. Strangely I feel like she likes me but I'm doing everything. How long do I continue to initiate everything before I just figure she's not really interested?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ask her out again on the condition that she sets up the third date, because you're excited to talk to her in the meantime and learn what places she might like to go on a date.

    She either will or won't. Problem solved.

    • Like ask her on a second date but let her know that any third date will be up to her initiate?

    • Well yeah, but make a game out of it - you don't want to pressure her but if you're not sure she's really that into you, well, this would give you your answer. Anyway, there's a really good reason to suggest it in my opinion... if you ask her on a second AND third date that either looks confident or adorably dorky depending on the girl, either of which is a win, and wanting to know some place she likes to hang out as a reason for having her pick the location, it shows you're interested.

      If she's shy, expect to have the ball bounced back over the net into your court a lot until she's comfortable around you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You have to realize that not everyone is right on the keys tapping out a reply to your text as soon as they receive it, things get in the way sometimes. I don't always text back right away unless it's my fiancĂ©, an emergency or the text needs to be answered quickly.

    If you hit it off with her keep persuing her until she gives you a definite answer either way. If she turns you down then you'll know you gave it your best shot, she wasn't interested for some reason. No regrets on your part, move on. If she says yes, make sure you're a gentleman on your best behavior, find out what she likes in a guy and be him! Just don't change yourself into something you're not for her or any girl.

  • You already said she's shy and very interested when you text. Quit being so selfish.

    • What? How on earth am I being selfish by initiating everything, taking her out, doing all the reaching out, not only at first but always?

    • Coz, she is shy so she probably has no idea how to start a convo and right now you are making her so happy! If you stop, she will be devastated! Talk to her first and quit making yourself look like a hero.

  • It's not a race, only a marathon.


What Guys Said 0

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