Girls, would you consider a guy who occasionally cries to himself undesirable?

I'm a bit of a shy guy. I'm goofy and awkward. Perhaps a bit too much for my age (24), but oh well. Sometimes I just get really depressed and just cry to myself. Sometimes to sleep. It's not wailing, just silent sobbing and tears. Don't want my family to know. I've been contemplating suicide on-and-off for the past three years. I feel like I might do it one day, but I'm not entirely sure. If I do, oh well. If I don't, I'll just drudge through life like everyone else. I believe my reasons to do so are selfish: late bloomer, never been with anyone romantically either emotionally or physically, I feel lonely (but if that's the case then maybe I'm not)/ready for someone special to come into my life. No one knows this about me, I try my best to hide it. However, sometimes I just get really bummed out and think myself into a pit of reasons justifying my killing myself. I know it's dumb, but it really scares me that's why I cry. I'm sort of talking to someone right now, but I don't think they feel the same way I feel about them. Story of my life. Maybe I'm just being a bitch, but some insight would be nice. Excluding the reasons why I do this, does occasionally crying to myself make me less of a man or a person to women?
Thanks everybody for your uplifting and kind words. I promised myself I wouldn't post these kinds of things, but sometimes it's the best way to defuse after an episode of deep depression.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi, I'm going to be 100% real with you here so listen up. I am making myself anonymous because I want to tell you that I am 20 years old and a lot like you: I'm shy, awkward, and a late bloomer. I've never been on a date, never kissed a guy, or held hands with a guy. I know you said to exclude the reasons for why you do this, but I can relate and have something I want to say. I have the exact same thoughts on suicide. The thing is though, you should not kill yourself because of these things. You said your reasons are selfish. I do not think they are selfish. They are legitimate things to be upset about, but they are not good reasons. You never know when somebody will come along. I have a secret crush on a guy who sounds exactly like you described yourself and he's the same age. I think he likes me too! This could be you one day, but if you kill yourself... it will never be you.

    And again I'm being completely real with you. I am not just saying this because I pity you or because I'm trying to talk you out of suicide. I am not doing any of those things. I just wanted to say that I would not ever think less of a guy that cries occasionally, especially if it's just in the privacy of his own home. Out in public might be another story because it may seem attention seeking or whiny. In fact, I would actually love it if a guy admitted to me that he cried because it is very brave to admit such a thing. It also shows that he is not afraid to show emotion and be himself (good traits to have). Showing emotion is showing maturity. All humans cry... male and female. It is natural and nothing to be ashamed of.

    If a girl thinks less of you because you cry occasionally, then she's most likely really shallow and heartless. I really hope things work out for you.


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What Girls Said 3

    Girls like a guy that is not afraid of his own emotions. In fact, it's extremely unhealthy when men bottle it up, so let it out once in a while! You will always have men saying that real men don't cry, but that's only because they are insecure with themselves and their own emotions. Trust me, girls think it's sweet when a guy gets teary once in a while :)
    And on the note of suicide, that is NOT the way to go, regardless of whether you feel lonely or not. Just think, what if you decided to kill yourself today, when something amazing could happen to you tomorrow? There's so much you could miss out on.
    I mean, life has a funny way of playing tricks on the mind, and feeling depressed is completely normal. I even get depressed sometimes! Actually, everyone gets depressed every now and again, and if you ever meet anyone that says that they have never been in a slump... they're liars!
    I really wish you could see your own value, because you are worth way more than you think.
    Everyone has to experience the lows of life to know what the highs feel like :)
    If you are ever feeling suicidal thoughts though, you should totally call a suicide hotline.
    Whenever I feel down, I like to listen to the song Three Little Birds by Bob Marley, and Power by Jeremy Loops. I think you would like them!

  • I wouldn't consider you undesirable but I'm a very understanding and caring person so if you show emotion to a girl make sure she won't make you feel bad about all this because they are some people who really don't understand. But those people are judgmental so just be sure of who you get yourself involved with before you open up completely.

  • I'm very sorry that you feel like that. It must be very hard for you. And because of the way you are feeling I find it very reasonable that you would sometimes cry. So I would say no it doesn't make you any less of a man. I suffer from depression so I can understand what you are going through.


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