OkCupid message. Did I mess up?

Ok so I came across this girl's profile on OkCupid. I thought she was beautiful but I didn't message her straight away. A couple days later I just happened to come across her YouTube page by pure coincidence because I recognised her picture as its the same one as her OkCupid profile picture. I wasn't cyber-stalking her or anything. Anyway after looking through her YouTube page I see that we have a lot in common and her personality is just as beautiful as she is. Sounds lame but I developed a crush on her. So I decided to message her on OkCupid as messaging her on YouTube would be weird and she wouldn't respond.

This was my message:
Hey how's it going *her name*

I'm tryna think of something else to say other than you look gorgeous cos I'm assuming you get tons of similar messages lol

Anyway, I just wanted to say Hi and introduce myself. Would really like to chat to you and get to know you a little so don't hesitate to send me a message xx

Hope to hear from you soon :)


She read it 3 weeks later but she didn't respond :(

Did my message suck? Did it sound desperate? What's wrong with it?

I know it could be other things like she wasn't attracted to my looks or my profile was boring. But I just wanna know if that message was lame.

I'm really tempted to send a follow up message :/

Girls what do you think? / Guys what openers do you use?


Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guy

  • She's probably received hundreds of other messages during those three weeks, some of them are bound to be better looking guys, or guys that can spell.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah it was a bad first message.
    - Too long.
    - Words like "tryna", "cos", "lol".
    - No periods or questionmarks.
    - You're talking about her looks.
    - You say you want to introduce yourself but then you don't? (however first message shouldn't be an introduction of yourself anyway).
    - You give the impression of being very insecure and even a bit socially awkward.

    An do not message her again. Guy's who does are just very annoying. She's not interested, if she was she would've responded.

  • she might be shy. so try something more blunt like hey hows a going.


What Guys Said 1

  • I always make some witty remark based on something on their profile. If I can't for some reason, I just talk about myself briefly, focusing on things that aren't already on my profile. I haven't gotten many replies either, but that's just the nature of the beast.

    Also: chicks dig grammar.