OkCupid message. Did I mess up?

Ok so I came across this girl's profile on OkCupid. I thought she was beautiful but I didn't message her straight away. A couple days later I just happened to come across her YouTube page by pure coincidence because I recognised her picture as its the same one as her OkCupid profile picture. I wasn't cyber-stalking her or anything. Anyway after looking through her YouTube page I see that we have a lot in common and her personality is just as beautiful as she is. Sounds lame but I developed a crush on her. So I decided to message her on OkCupid as messaging her on YouTube would be weird and she wouldn't respond.

This was my message:
Hey how's it going *her name*

I'm tryna think of something else to say other than you look gorgeous cos I'm assuming you get tons of similar messages lol

Anyway, I just wanted to say Hi and introduce myself. Would really like to chat to you and get to know you a little so don't hesitate to send me a message xx

Hope to hear from you soon :)


She read it 3 weeks later but she didn't respond :(

Did my message suck? Did it sound desperate? What's wrong with it?

I know it could be other things like she wasn't attracted to my looks or my profile was boring. But I just wanna know if that message was lame.

I'm really tempted to send a follow up message :/

Girls what do you think? / Guys what openers do you use?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah it was a bad first message.
    - Too long.
    - Words like "tryna", "cos", "lol".
    - No periods or questionmarks.
    - You're talking about her looks.
    - You say you want to introduce yourself but then you don't? (however first message shouldn't be an introduction of yourself anyway).
    - You give the impression of being very insecure and even a bit socially awkward.

    An do not message her again. Guy's who does are just very annoying. She's not interested, if she was she would've responded.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I always make some witty remark based on something on their profile. If I can't for some reason, I just talk about myself briefly, focusing on things that aren't already on my profile. I haven't gotten many replies either, but that's just the nature of the beast.

    Also: chicks dig grammar.


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • You fked up. That's stalker status

  • she might be shy. so try something more blunt like hey hows a going.


What Guys Said 1

  • She's probably received hundreds of other messages during those three weeks, some of them are bound to be better looking guys, or guys that can spell.


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