Do you feel like relationships are work?

I feel like relationships are a lot of work... so I haven't been in one for awhile.

I was just talking to a buddy some time since he broke up with his ex. He explained it like so: "Man she was a great girl, but she didn't put any work in." I'm like doh... I know this girl and understand her personality to some degree and she seems a lot like me. We work at what we're good at and in relationships we expect people to just accept us the way we are.

My buddy was also telling me about his new girlfriend and how he doesn't have to worry about anything and it's really mellow -- the relationship takes care of itself. He said something like, "it's so effortless and we get along really well all the time." So here I am just waiting to meet her and being happy for him. But I'm also like... why the hell is it so easy for everyone else to pick their person? For me, I either have to put in a lot of effort just to get turned down 100 times or a girl has to put in a lot of effort and well that never happens.

Can I find a relationship were neither of us have to work very hard outside of school and work?


Most Helpful Girl

  • A good relationship requires work but the benefits of it outweigh the effort you put in. No person will be perfect so there will always be some work involved but I guess you need to decide which work is worth the effort and which work isn't. C'est la vie ;)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Relationships are nothing but work, just another job you take on. I'm in a relationship and I hate it but I like pussy so...


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What Girls Said 2

  • Relationships require effort, but it doesn't really feel like work to me because *I* want to, and enjoy, doing things with and for my partner, and I also receive back everything that I give. We both do nice things for each other, we both take each other out, we both put effort into working through any problems that may come up, and so on.

  • wow... a relationship is a privilege.

    • Haha nice! Yes indeed, there is no reason to evaluate what it's going to take to make a relationship work when of course it's more than likely a blessing in the first place. Why force it or even consider that when someone out there already works perfectly with you by their side.

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    • So be it, pleasure is a tool manipulated and then honed. Each party -- gym to it's goer or love to it's lover -- is then rewarded on his/her own spending (more time together the better). How we benefit is in how much we put into the other. How we enjoy it would than be a perspective that we choose. Is love a choice then or is it an influence of love itself? If you love, perhaps there is nothing but more love to choose for this person. How could you ever take that for granted? xD

    • i believe love can't be categorised into choice or influence. it's always gonna b a little bit of both, with one being more dominant than the other, or both the same amount.

What Guys Said 0

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