I have never dated or been in a relationship, but I have already given up on the whole thing? help?

sometimes i feel like i have given up on dating and guys, but the problem is that i haven't really done it at all, never seriously dated or been in a relationship. I have gone on dates and i have had guy interested, and i have been interested in guys, but it never ever works out. I can't really pinpoint what goes wrong, but i have kinda come to a point where i'm not bothered to make an effort to look nice, i wear baggy clothes and i dont really make an effort to do my hair either.

A part of me thinks that i don't have anyone to impress, i look what i look like and if guys dont like it thats their problem and we aren't a match. But then another part of me know that guys are visual creatures and today's society is very vain and shallow, so very dolled up people is what people in general want and are attracted to.

i guess i feel like everytime i do make an effort, either its by showing more interest in a guy or just wearing more flattering clothes it never leads to something positive like the relationship working out or me getting more male attention. So therefore i don't make a lot of effort to really approach and get to know guys i like or to look a certain way
I dont know what to do.. i feel like i will never seriously date anyone...


Most Helpful Guy

  • I dont imagine your not the only one but i hope my opinion helps.
    First dont dress up for the guys attention. Maintain a comfortable that you like. If u dont enjoy getting all dressed up then dont. Some men are atracted to a casual confident look. If it is a man you seek however getting attention with some basic upkeep things or a single flashy article. Whether a hat or scarf or shirt are all great.

    A relationship can be a great thing for some people. You sound very independant and i assume are not a person who neeeds a relationship.

    Live your life and like u said a man will apreciate u for you.
    When im newly single or newly looking for a female i put in the effort for a week or two just to ensure a clean image at minimum.

    If u desire to seriously date someone then they must be serously desireable. If none of the men you find yourself engaging with perk your interest enough for you to care about future encounters then they aren't what your after. To change the ones who will see u or approach u image change is crutial whether wearing a more or less flashy something or messy or cleaner hair. Tweaki g your image will atract different males.

    I hope u give a relationship a chance and if u consider the option try a relationship with a guy based on mutual interests. A guy you can engage with about your life things.

    Your a strong individual and dont need a companion. I recommend you looking for a special male who perks your life more then th others... You will know this man when he presents himself to you.

    Oh and overly dolled up is only attractive to some. I've never enjoyed wome. That looked like i could pull the mask off their face

    What exaclty are you "making up" for?


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What Guys Said 3

  • You must be ugly. Do you have a weird face? Or are you just fat? If you're fat that's great, hit the gym. If you're weird looking, hang on, maybe that's just "the patriarchy" imposing unrealistic ideals on you. Maybe you should post a pic of yourself on hot or not. com. If you're above a 2, you should be able to find some beta mangina to be your fuck buddy.

    Honestly, I wonder to myself how fugly someone has to be to be unfuckable. (to everyone).

    I have this super fat female friend, and she tells me that actually she's quite the slut and it was easy for her to have some many shitty relationships because I guess some guys are just pathetic or something? I don't know.

    I suspect she's lying to me and she's actually a virgin.

    Whatevs. First step to solving a problem is to admit one exists. Pretty girls are pretty no matter what they're wearing, so yeah, in a sense you're right, there really isn't that much of a point of putting on make up and wearing nice clothes. If it's true that you girls spend two hours every morning getting ready, then you should definitely reallocate your time to achieving a healthy BMI.

  • Not everyone is cut out for the whole dating thing. So just be patient until yo eventually meet someone at school or work or wherever. You will end up getting to know someone and take it from there.

    • im trying, but its hard do belive that i should just wait when i have been doing it for years now and still no results. But im young and im moving and going to uni, so maybe i'll meet someone there, who knows

  • i don't think its accurate to say to days society is so vain and shallow i think since we have so many social media outlets its more apparent but i think people have all ways been vain and shallow and whether you like it or not guys don't want to date a slob sorry if that sound rude best word i can use to describe it but you got to dress to impress but i don't think a girl should have to look pretty all the time just more often then not i think you should take a step back from dating and finger out what are your goals for a relationship i mean really think then try and find a guy who can meet those goals you defiantly sounds confused so take a breather


What Girls Said 2

  • Just take it slow. You don't have to change because u feel guys are not interested in you. Just be yourself. Dress well, look nice. You don't have to dress like a slut coz they'll just be attracted to your body and once they get what they want it'll be over. Be nice and a nice guy will come around. You don't have to be desperate, just be patient.

    • im not going to change, i look what i look like, but i guess to attracted the right kind of guy i should at laast wear more flattering clothes. Not to brag, but i have quite good looking body, but i wear a lot of bigger clothes so im kinda hiding my shape. and i dont think im desperate... do you think so?

    • No. You don't have to wear flattering clothes to attract the right guy. U'll rather attract the wrong ones ulterior motives. Just dress nice and a responsible guy will love u for that. Decency is beauty.

  • You're too young to be giving up forever already, but it's a good idea to give it up for now and concentrate on bettering yourself and start anew when you're more confident with your assets.

    When relationships don't work out, it's either because the couple weren't a good match or because have nothing to offer beside their looks and body, in other words, they are boring to have around.
    You have to make sure you're not boring. Finding a good match is not easy and really mostly down to luck. So really, you're just not as lucky as others yet.


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