I got almost used AGAIN, this always happens, how to recover from it?

So this happened to me, again and im not a 100% sure how to "recover" from it. I have never seriously dated anyone or been in a relationship, and i always meet guys that only want sex(but is very obvious), or i met guys that either pretends they are intereted(but only want sex) or i met guys that want something more, but im not interested in them.

Anyway, i met the kind that only want sex, but pretend they really like me mroe often the other two kind of guys. And to be honest it kinda effects my confidence, because i feel like they are saying im only good for my looks. I know that its not my fault that thsoe guys dont want to date and that i shoulndt take it personal, but like mentioned it happened, again. I waisted several weeks on this guy, and im dont know what to feel. A part of me wants to take revenge and make him think he can get sex from me, but im not going to give it to him. Another part of me just wants to ignor him move on and find another guy.

But the problem with the second option is that i never ever meet guys, even if i start looking for a new guy it will take me ages to find one, and in the mean time im obviously going to seek attention from him, which again is going to make me depressed because i KNOW he's not going to change... I need som help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • "being used" implies you believe you were a victim, that is not the right attitude to have, even though you may very well have been the victim you still need to put the responsibility on yourself to not victimize yourself. That is how you start sulking and driving yourself into a corner and create baggage that down the road creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and you will be used again. My guess is that you have already been doing this, and it is why you said it happened "again."


    • i guess... i want experience ( i have no serious dating experience), but its really difficult to get that when guys dont want to date you, hence it will be difficult for me to recognize when guys aren't serious about me, aka only want to get laid... And i really shoulndt be victimizing myself.. but when you have low self esteem its a bit difficut.. i mean i am the common deminator in all of the sitaution..

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    • well i have never asked those questions: "do you like me" "how do you feel about us" "what are we"... anyway, i get what you mean, im not offended, because i know i have idea what im doing.. and yes, i want sex, but im not going to have sex with some i dont trust... im a virgin, so i want the first time to be as plesureable as it can be.. and that means i need to be relaxed, aka i need to trust and be comfortable around the guy... im just insecure and maybe i shouldn't be dating at all...

    • You aren't asking them, that is good. Are you thinking them? Or hoping for them to happen on their own?

      You seem to have a good head on your shoulders... Just remember sex is something that 98% of men will want. That means you might have to day 50 guys before finding one who will be patient enough for you. People suck, it is true, but if every guy was exactly what you wanted, he wouldn't be very special would he? You would take him for granted.. So in a way you should be happy, and you only need one guy who isn't like all the rest of the scum out there. Maybe you shouldn't be dating... That can be very true. Especially if you are insecure. A relationship is a sum of it's parts, if you aren't all you can be, you sabotage the whole in a devastating way. Why do you think so many relationships fail? People tell themselves "if only I was in a relationship, it would make me a better person" but the truth is, it will only accentuate and emphasize your insecurities and issues.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Find someone near you or you may try to know people online n if you find them genuine be more friendly n try to be close...😊

    • like i metioned... i never met guys, meaning the guys i do met are guys im either not attracted to or guys that want to date me... And maybe once or twice year guys come across as they want to date me, but it never works out... Im not going to met randome guys if its not going to lead to anything... i dont know what to do.. i feel undesirable :(

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    • i dont you can do anything... i could send a couple of fit handsome guy that want to date me lol

    • Wait... I didn't understood what you said just now n I was just trying to help n sorry if you I disturbed you😶

What Girls Said 1

  • Hi girl! First of all, stop being so desperate. To get a proper guy you need to look at yourself. Become someone you will love, and it starts with you doing things for yourself. Learn more about you like, what you want to do in life rather than expect something to come from a man. That's the first step. Then your second step I think would be to basically stop having sex for three months. You're really confused about sex and real emotional connections. Sex is amazing and you can have it just for the sake of it, if you have a strong mind. But right now you don't. You mix up stuff. So just don't have sex for the time being. Discover who you are and I'm telling you, you'll start changing the way you behave and he way you appear to others. And when you will open up for real, you will be able to distinguish clearly between those who don't care about you and those who do.

    • I get what you're saying, but im a Virgin. ...

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