Why is she leading me on, and what to do?

I met her about three weeks ago (continuation from my previous question), we hit it off well and went on our first date less than a week later, which ended with us kissing. The second date ended with us making out (which she initiated) to the point of us taking a layer of clothes off, she said she had a really good time, etc. I'd say overall the dates went really well. But all of a sudden this past week the entire dynamic and momentum just completely changed and now it seems like she's trying to brush me off. I'll list some differences:

- Before whenever I'd text her, she would always try and hold a conversation. This week she only gave me quick replies, and didn't seem at all enthusiastic about texting me.

- In the past two weeks she was willing to come and hang out the same day I asked her to, but this week she said she had "other plans".

Literally it seems like her enthusiasm about the whole thing just died over the weekend. I'd only ever contact her once every other day at best, not really every day. I'm not really a clingy person and I don't think I was coming off as such.

She hasn't explicitly told me that she isn't interested anymore, but I get the feeling that's the case.

Attitude wise, I was definitely more casual and laid back towards this than my previous dating experience, I was more in the camp of having a bit of fun with the possibility of seeing where it goes, rather than all out trying for a relationship. Maybe I came off as just wanting sex? Regardless though it's kind of frustrating and confusing as to what happened. Maybe she met another guy, or maybe she was just using me to fulfill a need? It's clear she's led me on, and all I can think of right now is to simply assume that it's dead until she contacts me otherwise, and open myself to other women.

Girls: What the hell happened? Why would a girl do this?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Many things could have arisen. She could have gotten back with her ex, found out something unsavory about you, simply became disinterested etc.

    The only way you can know is by asking her. Guessing about what MAY have happened isn't effective.

  • I would just ask her. That way there isn't confusing. The reason I would pull away from a guy is if I got the sense he didn't really care about me at all.

    • I've only known her a short time so I can't really say I care for her. But casual as it may be, I don't want her to feel like she's being used, and if it's only a fling I'd prefer to be on the same page about it first. What would I say to her, I don't even know if that's necessarily the case.

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