Should feminists/traditionalists stop blaming men?

Feminists suggest we split the bill for meals, encourage women to ask men out, for men to level the playing field and to eliminate gender norms to promote equality. Men who go against this are generally labeled "misognysts". But then a lot of traditionialists women whine about this generation of men not being "Man enough" by accepting these changing social norms. Which is it that you want? Don't you understand guys have conflicting messages sent to them on how they should behave with women? Why don't these two types of women reconcile with what they want with each other instead of blaming men for being "sexist" or "pussies"?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've never heard of traditionalists women? Regardless, 'traditionalists' don't seem to want equality, since they're fine with men doing everything.
    Do what you think is right. Do you want things to remain the way they are? Or do you want things to be more even and equal?

    • I don't know what to do anymore, because I'm getting two conflicting messages on how to treat women.

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    • I always reading a question on here that had a poll and a lot of responses just yesterday from about a month ago about how men are becoming more "feminine" because they won't always pay for dates and do the same chivalrous bullshit we're expected to do. This was a female writing all of this, and a bunch of other females wrote on there saying "Yeah, I've noticed this too". They're out there, there's anti-feminist women in the modern world, believe me.

    • If a woman has an idea of men that just isn't you then its time to move on to someone who fits you lifestyle. If you don't have that mindset that men should pay for everything then don't date a woman who thinks that way

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What Girls Said 4

  • Feminists and traditionalists are two different types of women.

    Just behave how you want assuming you're not gonna be a dick and hurt anyone. You will never please everyone.

    Men give us confusing and conflicting messages all the time. as well. How many times have guys said "just because I hold the door open for you or compliment you, it doesn't mean I wanna have sex with you. Fucking feminists assume every guy wants to date them."
    But then you have a group of "nice" guys who babycry and say "I told her she was beautiful. I am always nice to her. Why doesn't she take the hint that I like her?"

    Or when it comes to dating men.
    If we choose to date a man who doesn't have a job. "Omg, women are so stupid. They will rather date a bum who lives with his mom than a hard working man with his own place."
    But if we say we want a guy who is working, not even necessarily a good job just a job, then we hear: "Women are such golddiggers. They only want men with jobs."

    Or when it even comes to public safety.
    If we say we don't want street harassment, I mean REAL street harassment like not being followed or a man groping. Guys say "Girls exaggerate. I'd be happy if a woman touched me. It's a compliment. Not every man is a rapist."
    But then if we ignore it: "Girls are so stupid. She should've been more careful cuz you never know who is a rapist."

    Women can be hypocritical, but so can guys. I think it's just a human trait in general. The difference is that in today's society me pointing it out gets me branded as a misandric feminist. While if a guy points it out, he's right.

  • This is so silly. Different people have different views. Why would you expect all women to agree on a single view? Do you expect all men to have one single view? Do you think that's even possible?

    Regardless of what views you hold, there are some people are are going to disagree with you and some will judge you negatively. That's life.

    I understand that it might be confusing or frustrating that some women want x and other women want y. But guess what? You're never going to please all women, and you don't have to!

    Just like I'm never going to be what every man wants/expects. Some men are going to be happy that I split the bill, ask men out, don't judge them for not being super masculine, etc. But other men think that I should fit traditional female gender roles and think that I'm unattractive because I don't. Some men like that I'm sexually open-minded, and other men think I'm a slut. I'm not trying to please all men, I'm just being myself and living my life the way I think is right. If some people don't like it, I don't really care.

  • You realize men don't have one cohesive narrative either, right? There are different types of men and women in the world. For instance, men who want a stay at home wife vs. men who want a wife who works.

    So, don't expect everyone to want and believe the same things. Just find someone who has views compatible with your own.

  • You say traditionalist women, and then mention feminists.
    A feminist encourages women taking charge in society. And a traditionalist doesn't.
    These are two different groups, so why are you blaming feminists for traditionalist values even though that's not what they are. I feel like when people want to yell at women they're default is to yell at feminists even though it's not a feminist issue

    • I'm saying feminists blame men for being one way, and when we try to go by what feminists want, we're chastise by traditionalists. Instead of always blaming men, why not duke it out against traditionalists until you two groups figure out what you want in men.

    • Maybe instead of complaining about what women want, instead you should make a choice about what you want.

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