Any quick fix to trying to get rid of feelings?

A couple of weeks ago I asked out this girl that I've become pretty good friends since we first met in Fall 2014 (we're university students). I got the friends routine, which isn't entirely bad, I mean all thing's considering it was an easy let down and things are normal, we hang out, laugh and joke the way we did before. Sometimes I even feel glad that I actually found the courage to do it.

Although the past couple of weeks of trying to shed the feeling of being turned down and having her feel the same have been pretty up and down because of it. Some days I felt like complete shit about it, somedays not all. Lately the feeling has been waning, which is sort of good I guess but for some reason she still ends up permeating my thoughts at least once a day. School has been quite busy so that tends to take her out of my mind for a bit somehow it always ends up with me thinking about some aspect of her....



Most Helpful Guy

  • What else do you want?

    Just readjust your thoughts about it all. You hinted at it earlier. "Sometimes I even feel glad that I actually found the courage to do it."

    Exactly that man. Be proud of yourself.

    And next time you go to do something similar, remember that a positive response isn't guaranteed. Just view it as an opportunity and then think, "hey, might as well give this a shot, but it's not a big deal if it goes one way or the other. This woman has x, y and z qualities and I like that, so I'm going for it. I value myself as a person. I know who I am. No worries."

    You can't blame yourself for trying, nor should you. (But you very well may berate yourself for NOT trying).

    We really only feel "sad" or "insecure" about the whole thing when we overly emphasize it. But if you go in there with the mindset of "it could go either way, and I'm ok with both responses" it'll make it much easier.



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What Girls Said 1

  • Not sure there is a quick fix. Wish there was. Time is really the only thing that works.


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