Is he as interested in me as I am in him, or should I just move on?

It's been a month since this shy guy finally asked me out after a few failed attempts at making a move and prolonging hints that went on for like 6-7 months. He explained that he wasn't the type to make a move as he's shy/awkward, and thinks he'd be a bad BF bc he wouldn't be the type to buy me flowers and is a bad texter.

We see each other about once a week since we're both busy with school, work, and other things and even though we met at the beginning of the year..we dont know each other that well as we we're both too shy to really talk so things are going slow. The more we hang out, the less awkard it gets each time which is good. The only thing that confuses me is that we'll see each other, spend a good chunk of time together and then i won't hear from him at all. I went almost a week without anything from him until i texted him. I also hate when people ask me how is and i won't know because i haven't talked to him in a few days. I've been texting him every couple of days or sort of continue the convo until one of us stops replying...but i feel clingy? I know i'm not, but it just feels like that as he doesn't text me. Ill ask about his day, and he will answer but not ask anything about me.

It's confusing bc in person, we talk fine and he's thoughtful (compliments me, has walked me to my car in the pouring rain and opened my door before kissing me bye, offers to hold my bag etc), and we hold hands, kiss, and we go out in public. I haven't met his parents yet, but im fine with that since it'd be too soon. He hasn't tried to do anything further with me (both virgins), so i know he isn't using me for sex/hooking up...

i am just getting anxious and over thinking that he doesn't like me that much bc of the lack of communication. I feel like if i bring it up ill come off as clingy bc that's why my friend's ex broke up with her. What do i do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • First of all, don't move on. You have a good thing going with this guy. Once a week is fine; that's nothing to worry about, especially if you're both busy. It sounds like you've only been on about four dates, so there's no rush. Go on a few more dates with him, and if you still want to see him more often, be exclusive, etc., let him know. There's nothing clingy about that. The lack of communication is fine; that way you have plenty to talk about when you go on a date. You actually don't want to communicate too often in the beginning; it's always better to give each other a little too much space, as opposed to not enough space.

    • So this whole him not talking to me thing isn't weird? Like i know he isn't using me or else he would have tried something by now, but it's just weird not even getting a hi or anything unless i message him. Yeah, we've hung out about 4-5 time now and it's been getting better each time in terms of less awkwardness and getting to know each other. I'm confused as to what we are since he asked me out and then when i asked "so are we.." and he just said yes. He's affectionate, and we go out in public so he clearly likes me but this whole not talking thing is driving me nuts... what do i do?

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    • That's true. But a part from the lack of talking in between, would i seem clingy if i always text him first every few days? Like I am always texting him first, we reply slow so we aren't texting every minute as we reply within an hour or two each text. Also with the dates, we didn't make plans last week (but i ended up coming to watch his vball game and we both had to leave early due to separate plans, and he walked me out to my car, opened my door, and gave me a kiss all while it was pouring pretty hard) and if he doesn't make plans this week with exams for me and him in two weeks.. is that ok? Im worried that im into it way more than he is because of the lack of effort i feel but i dont want to say much because i dont want to come off as clingy :/ what do i do?

    • Texting every few days sounds fine. If he's interested (which it sounds like he is), he'll want to plan a date with you. If he doesn't, you could try asking him something like, "So are we going on another date?" Even the busiest people have time for a cup of coffee.

  • Don't give up... shy guys can be extremely weird sometimes. We do things that makes absolutely no sense.


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