How can I win the love of a friend who in rebound relationship now?

For the last 7 years I have been the best "guy" friend to a woman who was in a very abusive marriage (husband was liar, criminal, drug user, adulterer).

My friend was divorced this past June and has sole custody of three children and restraining order against husband who now lives on other side of state.

At the beginning of September she started dating the man who was the best friend of the ex husband and now says she loves him even though they only have been seeing one another for a little over a month.

She doesn't see this as a rebound relationship and she doesn't care if she only gets to see him once or twice a week and that she makes much more than her does. She says she doesn't need a man that makes a lot on money and that money doesn't matter since she has done well on her own up till now. She is college degreed in the medical field and he is a janitor.

She I ask what is it about him that she likes, she says that he gives her butterflies and dives nice car.

The problem is that over the last several months I have fallen for her and she now knows how I feel about her.

She doesn't want to talk about my feelings and wants to stay best buds.

When I ask her why she doesn't want more she only tells me that I am 12 years older than her (she is 28 years old) and refused to talk any further.

Is she really in a rebound relationship and should I give up on her or tough it out?

I love her children and babysit often


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What Girls Said 1

  • You think that she is in a rebound relationship that you don't agree with but you want her for yourself. Why would you want someone that is in so much pain and has so much baggage? As long as you continue to pressure her into being with you or not being with the new guy, it will never work out. She should not be in a relationship right now anyway, she went from dating someone with abusive tendencies to another. She needs to be focused on her children, not you or any other man. I feel sorry for the kids, I am sure they don't know up from down and right from left. The last thing you should be doing is trying to start a relationship with her, and you care for her? wow! with friends lyk you, who needs enemies! What about her welfare and the kids situation? It seems that neither of you are concerned about the things that matters most. I am sure that I have struck a nerve and I meant to because someone needs to step in here and let you know that the both of you are very selfish, you and her! ty-lady!


What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like she doesn't want to date a 40 year old. Your kind of screwed. If she doesn't harbor feelings for you now, she's not going to later.