Ladies: How would you feel about dating a guy that doesn't really party?

Just curious, even if you do party? I don't know I tend to fall for girls that have a little bit of a wild side, and are very attractive, but I have beliefs that I stick to personally and I don't smoke or do drugs, and I won't drink until the age of 21.

I just prefer following the rules and laws that have been laid out. I have goals and ambitions, and just want to get through life comfortably without getting in (or causing) any trouble. Call me boring but whatever...

I DO know how to have a good time. I'd be a great Boyfriend to any girl who I was with, and I'd love her right. I'm very nice and have a fun personality. I get compliments on good looks fairly often so I don't think that's a problem.

I do know that I'm more mature than most people my age, so I think once people mature a bit more I'll do fine with dating. But its just I don't have a lot of female friends and the ones that I do have aren't like hanging all over me like they do with some of their male friends and they don't flirt much with me or express interest.

I at least expect a girl to show me interest too, I don't want to do all the work. And I will show interest if I'm interested in someone. but nothing has worked out for me so far. I'm almost 20 years old and have never had a Girlfriend or even a kiss! ...and the wait is killing me! lol!

I want to have some experience with dating and relationships, but apparently I need to fix SOMETHING.

Ladies, what do you think about a guy like me?

Thanks so much! :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • What's wrong with partying? Most people think partying, especially going to clubs are to hook up and get drunk, or get laid or what not. Which isn't always true.

    I know many girls, especially my friends go to party/club to have fun together and love to dance.

    It is extremely hard to find someone if you have such a high standards or be picky. Stop setting standards and go for someone you feel attractive to and share chemistry with.

    AND you need to work hard to get a girl. You have to treat her like a princess in the beginning to win her heart, never give up(which can be a story if you REALLY like that girl a lot and need to have her). And some point along, she will magically fall for you. It happened to me. I thought my ex was ugliest guy on earth (so mean I know!) and he called me all the time, checking up on me (which I was annoyed), but one day he stopped calling saying that he is really sick. Yeah, I was in love with him then and was REALLY worried about him. You gotta earn the props.

    You are already mature so that's a big turn on but stop being picky about it. Whoever you feel the connection with, go for it. She can learn from your maturity too.


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What Girls Said 8

  • Wow, you are indeed very mature for your age. Your stances and beliefs will not hinder you from finding a suitable girl. Many girls prefer a mature, grounded guy who knows what he wants. Most of the time there's no games or playing. We desire a guy who will treat us right, want a stable, happy relationship and learn about us. The key here is to seek out a girl who will identify those redeeming qualities and will want to learn about you.

    Stay true to yourself and always be who you are. There is a lady out there for you and meeting someone seems to entail timing and location. Keep your eyes peeled and don't be afraid to take a risk to meet someone. Keep your head high. Good luck.

  • You sound like me! haha :)

    I think it's awesome that you don't party, drink, or do drugs. Usually when guys do those things it's a huge turn off (at least for me). I would just keep doing what you're doing. Once you get a girlfriend I'm sure she'll be really excited that all/most of your "firsts" will be with her.

  • Try .

    It is a free dating site that could help you meet girls in your area who aren't just looking for a party boy.

    Personally I wouldn't go for a party guy anyway, I would much prefer someone who can have a good time without substance abuse.

    Goals and ambitions are super-attractive too.

    If you like one of your girl friends, ask her out on a date, or just if she wants to hang out one-on-one and get to know each other better. I ALWAYS wait for the guy to make the move, so... If you want a kiss, take one, you know?

    • The only problem is when I've tried doing this, it affects the girl and I's friendship, if I express interest, it seems to drive us apart... I only have the best intentions with any girl I pursue, but for some reason, things get awkward even after asking just to hang out as friends... I don't understand. Or I'll get an enthusiastic "yes!" or something but it never happens.

    • :( that's too bad.

      keep trying?

      or just chill out and wait for a girl to get interested in you.

      not much I can say really.... romance is hard.

  • ha! you think YOU are weird for not doing the crazy partying or not drinkin or what not? I refuse to date anyone until after high school. I mean, it doesn't mean I don't like people, but I don't think that people know who they are till after they get into college or get a job. I have refused to go out with multiple guys and 2 guys that I really do like alot. (you have no idea how hard that was) but anywho, personally I don't know why girls don't like you. I'm really outgoing and love to do crazy stuff (not into the crazy parties tho, I'm more of a nature person and amusement parks and go-carts and eat crazy stuff like cow intestines person) but I don't see a reason why I wouldn't like you, or why any girl for wouldn't for that matter.

    did you ever think it was because you just don't talk to enough girls? if you like a girl, obviously you have to meet her... duh? maturity is not a bad thing by the way, one of the guys that I REALLY like is mature, but fun, outgoing, and overal amazing! all I can tell you is ATTACK! not literally, but talk to girls. love will find you.

    The same guy, after finding out I wouldn't go out with him yet, said that he wouldn't get a girlfriend and would wait for me and him to get out of high school before getting together. You'll find somebody. If I found somebody to wait for me just to be my b/f, you can find somebody. My freshman year of highschool I made a mistake got a boyfriend just so I could see if it was all it was cracked up to be, and I thought it was the stupidest thing ever (sorry for all you in a relationship) so I'm in no desire to get into another one. but my x-b/f kissed me and I wish I'd never been kissed now, so that would be a turn on (for me) for my boyfriend never to have been kissed.

    wow this is long, I'm sorry, but I just don't want you to think that ur weird for having morals and standards. I won't get a boyfriend that doesn't have them. just wait till Miss Right comes along, which she will, and u'll be glad you waited for her.

  • ok I had a boyfriend just like you once, he didn't really go out no drugs no drinking no nothing and to be honest I liked that because it showed me how mature he was and I know that he wasn't going to go out and get drunk and mess around with other girls. this one time I talked him into going to a halloween party with me and he brought some ofhisfriends, he acted the same way as any other day he didn't stare at any girls and he alway stay by my side. so I think its really cool that your not like most guys and don't go out and party and I think you would make a very good boyfriend. don't worry soon enough you will find a girl who really likes what you do and how mature you are :)

    i hope this helps

  • Haha that's very attractive for me that you don't party it kind of shows ur mature. I'm the same way in fact I have never been to a party but I have been invited but I'm not a party type of girl.

  • its a turn on! :)

  • i don't really party but I think that you guys wouldn't be that compatible. I partied a little bit and most of the girls that partied dated guys that partied just as hard if not harder. why don't you date girls that don't party? you would have a lot more in common. the wild girls that you're describing don't really date guys like you too much, sorry.


What Guys Said 1

  • You come across as a "love-lost romantic"

    Try this blog site: designed by BobAir

    Also, here's a recommendation:

    My assumption is that you are coming across very affectionate early. Example:

    - You meet a girl and she says she is going to college

    -- You say "COOL! What school are you going to? What degree do you have in mind?"

    This makes the girl think one of several things:

    1) Why is this guy coming across so intent that I am going to school?

    2) This guy sounds like he wants something by acting so nice upfront.

    3) What is this guy's other-side, I hope he isn't psycho.

    So what I meant by the afformentioned - Be yourself, you don't have to show interest at your first impression, get to know the girl and then show your interest. This way you find a girl that has similar interests and has depth - and also you aren't throwing yourself to the wolves.

    Best regards,


    • P.S. Yes - girls WILL date you for being you. But make sure you are "you" and not "acting like you"

    • I feel like I should have the best answer because the advice I gave was from the heart. If you feel the same way, next to my picture is a box for "best answer" if you check it, I'll know you agree