What were signs your relationship was getting serious? And what are signs that a guy never wants to get serious?

Skip question 2 and only answer #1 if tltr. For the 2nd one, how can you tell at the 6th month mark if a guy doesn't see a future? Bad signs:
1) I sleep over 2-3x per week. On weekends it's either a Fri or Sat, never both. But for the last two weekends, he claimed to be too busy with work at home to see me till Sun night. When I expressed surprise, he said,"Do you need to see me every weekend?"
2) He rarely ever wants to go out. We usually stay in, order take out,though we do walk and pick it up together, sometimes stop and get groceries. Then movies.
3) Way in the beginning he wanted to talk on the phone sometimes. Now it's all texting. It's frequent at least.
4) While he has shared personal things about his childhood, most of our convos are about movies, music, and sex. Nothing deep.
5) Anytime I invited him to happy hour with my coworkers or dinner with friends, he made excuses not to come. I still haven't met any of his longtime local friends, only those in the meetup group where we met. He rarely hangs out with them though. Total homebody.
6)He hangs out with his family(local) and I'm never invited. But hispanic friends have told me that it's common for them to wait 8+ months to introduce a gf/bf.
7)He's never available to hang out until after 9pm.
8)We were both thinking of attending a gaming event in a city where he used to live. He thought of visiting old friends. He made no mention of going together but ultimately he decided not to go.
9)I was excited about a coffee festival and invited him since he likes coffee. He declined even though he had no plans.
10)I suggested going on a day trip, he showed no interest in brainstorming ideas. Said everything I said sounds fine.
11)No holidays together yet, not even New Years day. A few days before Valentine's day we had a fight. He said he was too upset to hang out. He also said Hispanic people consider it a friendship day.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm. This is painfully familiar. I think you already know the answers to your questions.

    I am sorry.


Most Helpful Girl

  • OK, I take it that you are not Hispanic, right? Not a big deal as long as you learn as much about their "North Americanized Culture" there are some things which are different with North American and South American Hispanic people. So I am told by my Hispanic Aunt, things such as kids who are taught not to look their elders/adults in the eyes, others find that kind of odd but it is considered a sign of respect. At times some Hispanic people can be either considered a little cool or cold to very warm to people of other cultures, we don't usually notice the warm happy go lucky as much as the coolness towards others. This might be what you are picking up as a bad reaction to your invitations, it does sound as if he is moody. I guess if it were me I might try to engage him in conversation more, try to draw him out of his shell a bit at a time.

    Has he ever been in trouble with the law or has some sort of enemies? That might explain why he feels safe at home, it just might be protecting you. I believe this type of behavior (homebody) is called "Cacooning" just like it sounds people who feel safer or more comfortable at home than out and about.

    Signs of being serious. When both of you can tell the other that you "I Love You" and really mean it Versus saying it to motivate or get something from the other such as,,, Sex! Some signs that he may be serious about you are that he feels comfortable just hanging out at home with you. Staying in and watching a movie. Getting take out. Frustrating yes!

    What kind of work does he do, is he busy all day, deals with people? He may just be coming home tired and just wants to crash and hang out where he's comfortable. I know people like that, you have to draw them out of their house and she'll too.

    Just from dealing with my Aunt, she's a cool one, she doesn't mean to be but everyone thinks she hates them. Which is the opposite of the way she says she feels. Learn as much as you can about his history and culture he might warm a bit?

    • He's a social worker and a professor so being exhausted makes sense. Never in trouble with the law. He said I love you in his sleep in the past but when I said it one time, he said,"Aww!!" and seemed very happy and flattered. :/ He said he takes a long time to warm up and commit to any situations whether it's work or relationships. My last 3 relationships were serious after 2 months so this is all weird to me. He used to pretend to be sick to avoid things he didn't want to do, like meet my friends. I guess he likes me but is not head over heels.

Valentines Day

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He doesn't sound that into you young Lady. Sorry


What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Valentines Day