Guys, Competitive Much... ?

I am seeing this guy and we have not defined what it is that we are doing. We do spend a lot of our free time together, but haven't said that we are exclusive. However, from time to time, he will ask me if he has competition?

Why would a man ask a woman he is dating this kind of question?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well... he is most likely comfortable with this being 'open' and undefined right now. It lets him feel free to see other people should he feel so inclined, without feeling guilty about it. So he is probably checking in from time to time to see if he has reason to be jealous. A lot of guys find that it is far easier to have an 'open' relationship when they are seeing other people but their partner isn't. As soon as their partner starts seeing someone else, the idea of it being open is far less appealing, and they often will then start the talks about exclusivity. Unless he is more into open relationships, which is also totally possible.

    Have you ever asked if YOU have competition?

    • No, I haven't asked about competition because we do spend all of our free time together.

    • I would imagine that he is happy with the state of the relationship then, and is just asking from time to time to see if he needs to adjust his strategy. If you're happy with the status quo, it shouldn't be an issue.

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What Guys Said 10

  • He's probably just trying to get a sense of security. You might from time to time give off a vibe like you dont care as much as he does. Maybe he wants to see another woman and he's trying to feel out if it would be a cheating situation or if he has the ability to do as he pleases.

  • hmm.. he might just be trying to secure his grounds, maybe he would put in a lot more effort to try and "bag you" in whatever it is that you two are doing if you were to say yes to that question. he might want to be the only one for you.

  • You just said that you never told him you wanted to be exclusive so in his mind that means it's a open relationship to you and that you might have a guy or guys on the side. Hence the competition line he said.

  • He needs to know!
    he wants to be exclusive and wants to know, he is the best option in your life

  • Sounds to me like he is on the verge of asking for exclusivity lol

    He may have asked to see if there is anyone else, to determine whether he can hold off (because there is no one else) or that he has to ask soon, to be the one who gets there before anyone else (if there is another guy).

    So in a sense he is asking about his potential competition to see if he has to take a more competitive stance with you!

    If he is doing it to see if he needs to "up his game" then I would be a little concerned that he would be doing it for the wrong reason ie., to stake his claim on your before some other guy does.

    If he is going to ask for exclusivity, then it should be entirely based on him knowing that he wants you and you alone regardless of any competition.

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