Okay so i have a stutter. But not where i repeat things or letters, I get speech blocks. Its like my throat closes and i just can't get any words out. It happens a lot, even when i'm relaxed. I basically avoid all situations where i have to talk to people, like ordering food, talking on the phone because it makes me feel so embarassed and people really don't understand. They think i'm stupid or something. I have literally never met anyone else who stutters. Its so frustating when i want to say something but i just can't. I really don't think i'll ever have a boyfriend because of this, How would i even talk to him?
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My whole life until about 2001 I had very very very sweaty hands. If you have seen one of those tiny dixi cups... I filled one in less then 2 min.. that is how bad they sweat. I was also very heavy as a kid and a nerd. So I had no friends and I just withdrew from society. I stayed away from any situation where I might have to shake hands or hold hands. That is very difficult for a man to do. Esp as he gets older. There were things I tried over the years but nothing really worked.
I had no self esteem and no self confidence. Those early years affected most of my life.
I still believe if I had the self confidence and self esteem at 20 that I have now, I would not have married my first wife. Although it lasted 25 years and I was not the one that wanted the divorce, I think I could have been much much happier. I put up with a lot and was very co-dependent because I thought nobody else would want a freak like me so when I found someone who did, I held on. I did everything she wanted to do, changed who I was, trying to make her happy. It was horrible.
I knew about an operation in sweden that would cure it. It was when Botox first came out and I saw an article that said it could help sweaty hands that I checked with a dermatologist. he said that it would not help and even if it did, it would be hugely expensive. but he knew that they were doing that surgery in the USA, This was very early internet years. Might even have been late 90's instead of early 2000's...
he suggested I get on the University of Michigan website and he thought there would be links.
within 3 days I had narrowed the doctors from 6 to 1, had the operation booked, had airline tickets and hotel. found out insurance covered everything.
My life has changed dramatically.
I am trying to say things can change. Yours is a different issue sure. But try to find doctors that cna help you. Or at least a therapist that can help you work on personal skills.0