Isn't putting your partner first logical in this example?

Who would you put first your partners feelings or your opposite sex friends? What I mean by this is your partner states that they are uncomfortable with the way you interact with a certain opposite sex friend and calmly explains that they would like you to cut back on the talking and/or hanging out what do you do? Choose the friend or the partner and why? I would sag hand downs my partner. That is just the logical choice to me. I mean if I am going to put another guys feelings before my own bfs then what is the point of being in a relationship with him I may as well date my friend. My guy is the one I'm looking to settle down and start my life with not my guy friend and j would expect the same the other way around. So if my HF expressed he was uncomfortable with a way I was interacting with a guy friend I would put my relationship first. I just never understood people who don't.


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What Guys Said 2

  • In truth it's not about that other girls feelings, it's about yours and his feelings. If you wanted to restrict with whom I could be friends with you better have a convincing argument, that being said, you should communicate how seeing him spending so much time with her lets you feel left out or jealous or whatever.

    • Its note so that there are times he wants to be alone with her and I'm like woah biddy if its truly Innocent then why can't I be there you know? We have been together a year now. Like it is always an open invitation for him to come when I hangout with my guy friends. Everyone IRL agrees with me with the fact that he requests to not have me there is sketchy and j need to talk to him about it. in my opinion if a guy really loves his women he will do whatever it takes to make her feel comfortable. I just feel like I should be his #1 women well obviously along side of female family members. But no I don't play that game of him hanging out alone with a these other women you're either dedicated 100% to me or you're not there is ko playing games. I got hurt by doing that before and I'm over it

    • More so*

    • I generally assume that the whole relationship dynamic changes depending on who is there and who is not. A night out with the guys will take a completely different turn when one brings the girlfriend.
      That aside, why aren't you talking to him about this?

      Or did I perchance...

  • Not necessarily. It is vitally important that both partners maintain friends and experiences outside the relationship. So if a partner is trying to dictate who a person can see, or how much they can see them, then that is a form of passive manipulation and control, and that is something that should actively be fought against.

    You see this a lot of times where a guy will tell his gf that she can't talk to guys any more, or that she isn't allowed to text that guy she has known for two years... it's control, and it's not cool, and if a partner tries to enforce it, the other person shouldn't put up with it.

    You put the relationship first if the request is healthy and positive for all involved. You don't put the relationship first if the request is about control or manipulation or about making someone who is feeling irrationally jealous calm about a situation.


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