How many times to a need to tell a guy that I do not want to go out with him?

Same guy has asked me out five times. All five times, I have told him no. Why does he continue to ask me out?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He hasn't given up hope yet. Ask yourself why it is that he is so hung up on you. Instead of treating him like garbage, here are some good alternatives:

    1. Self-deprecation: "I would be a terrible fit for you because..."
    1. a. Self-indictment: "The last time a guy like you tried to get with me, I wound up...[insert random true story here that makes you sound like a bad luck charm of the worst order]. I think you deserve better."

    2. Referral: "I know someone who'd be into you a lot more. And they can help you with [xyz attribute of his] way better than I'd ever be able to."

    3. Relationship switcheroo: Change the terms of the relationship to one of you mentoring him in the ways of finding love with some other woman. Get him comfortable with taking your advice over another, instead of trying to woo you. Just realize this still requires you to commit to a role. And if you don't follow through, he'll see you as a scumbag with no integrity.

    4. Political backstabbing: If you have differing political views from his, say something offhandedly that he'd get offended by. He'll see you as an adversary to debate or avoid, not a date to pursue. Just make sure you don't need him for anything in the future, as that bridge will have been nuked to ash and cinders.

    5. Control freak: Lay out a list of arbitrary rules for dating that are so insulting, demeaning, and impossible, that he flips you the bird and leaves. Just beware if he sees you not hold another man to those same bullsh*t standards, he'll think you're a bitch and might hate you forever.

    Things to NEVER do:

    1. Attack his ego directly.
    2. File false reports. That is a declaration of war that you will regret.
    3. Give beat-around-the-bush excuses in vague terms. This creates a puzzle that he'll want to to solve, making more problems for you.
    4. Pretend to date him, then (figuratively) stuff him in the closet and slowly bleed him dry emotionally. He will thirst for revenge. Stupid move.
    5. Insult is family. Just don't.

    • Bottom line: If it comes to the worst, make yourself look like the bad guy. But don't 100% commit to the role, or you'll have Hell to pay.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He probably thinks you're going to change your mind.
    Anyway, ignore him. He will eventually stop.


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What Guys Said 2

  • How firm are you in your rejection? Sometimes guys just don't get it. Be very firm, tell him not to contact you again, and if he does then you should report it.

  • Have you reported it

    • I am not sure that he is stalking me. He is not being rude or following me. He has just called me three times and asked me out twice face to face.

    • Just monitor the situation cause if you already said no that many times it really could be considered harassment

    • He's pursuing you politely then. He's trying to give you every last chance he can, before throwing in the towel. You have to take the advice I gave you above to ensure that he abandons all hope for you. Otherwise, you're only creating more problems for yourself.

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