Is he pulling away?

So i met someone at work. he pursued me and asked me to lunch by email on a Thursday. i emailed him back with my person email so we could get to know each other. by Monday, we were texting. he asked to take me out for drinks the coming Friday , and we had a great time. conversation: good. drinks: good. food: good! he was a complete gentleman the entire evening. he gave me a hug goodbye. then we had a lunch date a few days later, which i paid for. during that date he suggested we take a trip in a month to SD together, and i said yes. he booked the trip the next day and sent me a copy of the confirmation two days later he asked if i could bring him coffee, i said yes and did so. we flirted through text, he said he wanted to kiss me. we went to the movies, and no kiss. then he suggested we spent the night together, and i said yes, knowing things might advance, which they did. we talked we drank, it was perfect. now he's been away with work for a few days and im afraid, i got too attached too soon. he's been pretty short in answering me through text, and texting is a dry form of communication so it's fine. but he usually calls me. i guess i should be happy he is at least responding to me. i've mentioned i am looking for a serious relationship so he knows, and he opened up to me about his childhood and family problems, so i figure you dont do that with just anyone. he mentions he's looking for a partner which is great because that puts us on the same page. but im afraid he'll pull away, because he's been so short in talking to me since he left for SD. im super confused about where it's going, and i feel like i'm getting mixed signals.
i dont know the rules of dating. or understand it for that matter. this is my first person I've allowed into my life after a 2 year hiatus from dating (including any physical contact). it's nerve wracking to say the least.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't see any signals that says he's pulling away. He's likely distracted and just can't give you a full, heart-felt response in a text. If you're that concerned, you just have to be honest. Just let him know that you want to be sure you two are on the same page completely, he should understand that you're just feeling a tad insecure.

    • thank you!! after that day he called and now he calls me every night before he goes to sleep and will text me throughout the day. i never told him that i had been waiting for his call but once he did i felt so much better!

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What Guys Said 1

  • No I think its all in your head. If he is on a trip for work he probably is busy. My guess it will continue when he comes back


What Girls Said 1

  • I think you moved too fast. He might be second guessing his actions. If you want a man to take you serious, you have to become his friend first and not get intimate so soon. Even if you haven't had sex, kissing can confuse people too. You should get to know each other and form a bond so he can see how you're different from other girls. If it feels different, then it is. You could ask or you could just sit back and observe. I'm not saying the damage is done but try to build a friendship before you become lovers. It may take longer that way but he'll respect you more for it


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