What to do if you feel unfulfilled in a relationship?

I have been in a relationship with this guy for 7 months, we started out as really good friends with a mutual liking for each other for about a year until I made the move and we got together. He is my first boyfriend, he used to compliment me a lot, be really affectionate, passionate kissing, etc. Now I feel it has died down for him, sometimes he is more affectionate sometimes he is withdrawn and distant. I guess he has been really caught up with university work, but I feel that I need his full undivided attention when we are together; and being tired is not excuse for anything. I have to initiate kisses first, I have to arm link him first or else he rarely holds my hands. I know he loves me, as he makes time in his schedule to hang out with me and my sisters every week or so, even if I told him that he doesn't have to if he is busy.
I have been feeling empty for the past few months, it virtually comes and goes.. I guess what I need is consistency but I feel I'm not getting it from him. He barely compliments me anymore, he does look at me up and down occasionally though. He used to want to kiss me all the time and now if I dont ask for it it's like he won't care, it's starting to get really sad. Used to say he misses me, even if we saw each other 3 hours ago;now he hasn't said "i miss you" in 4 months. I'm always the first to say, and he says I miss you too.
I am not a needy person, I can be independent just fine; i just expected much more partnership in a relationship rather than me initiating physical intimacy..

Should I break up with him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe, but first, you need to have a serious discussion. "We started as friends and we were great friends. Then we became lovers and we were great. But everything seems to have fizzled out. I love you but I don't want to be in a relationship where I don't satisfy my partner, so I need to hear how you feel about me and whether you have thought about where we may be headed. Ad, before you respond, if you really love me, you will give me an honest answer, even if it hurts me."


Most Helpful Girl

  • I had this problem too with my (now) ex. We were together for 3 years and first 2 years of our relationship he used to do all the sweet, romantic stuff. Then he stopped, yeah. I was in the same shoes you are now and it sucks, I know. I told him all these things and asked him couple of times if everything is alright and he would say that everything is good that he just got so comfortable with me that he doesn't think he still has to flirt with me and stuff. So I took it as a not big deal and stopped nagging him about it, didn't want to be needy. Guess what happened after? He dumped me, out of the blue, saying that he just doesn't feel the same way he used to and that he is not sure if he loves me anymore. Then the same day he broke it off he went flirting with another girl... I wish I dumped him as soon as I realized something was missing. Guys just don't put their feelings on the table, if something is wrong they will wait to see if it changes without telling us, and then if it doesn't they dump us, while we had no clue what was going on. My advice is to tell him honestly what you want and that if he doesn't feel a need to give to you that you will leave him. In the meantime, give him some time, distance yourself a little bit, and wait to see how he will react. If he continues being a cold comfort-zone asshole, just dump him.


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  • I dont know I never had that problem


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