Was this jealousy?

I got into a really bad situation with a guy that I had feelings for but he never said he had feelings for me. I told him that I wanted a relationship and he said the he was still in love with his EX and didn't wasn't ready for a relationship right now. I decided to let things go with him and move on.

2 months later he sent me a text that said "I miss you" and I fell for it and ran right back to his arms. Sadly we only lasted for a week before we broke up again. I was very upset because I felt like I was used and lie to.

I sent him a VERY nasty email that talked about what I thought of him. I talked about everything from the fact that he was balding to him being horrible in bed. I wrote two sentences about how I dated other guys that were better than him after we broke up but the whole letter was over a page long. I got a 2 sentences response for him that said "Take care. Glad you're finding better guys". He sent a second email a few mintes later where he actually apologized for the way he treated me. A week later he sent me another email that went into detail on how sorry he was.

A friend of mine saw the email and said that him mentioning the other guys in his first reation shows jealousy but I'm not so sure about that.

Do you think it was Jealousy?
My question was more geared towards if his first knee jerk reactions was to mention the other guys I've date was a sign of Jealousy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think it was jealousy; you were hurt and felt used, just like you said. I've done the same exact thing more than once, which is write everything stirring in this crazy brain of mine and send it without giving myself time to cool off and think about everything I wrote.

    There's nothing wrong with saying what you want and how much you resent someone for hurting you, but it's best if you either write a letter to yourself or you don't send it once you're finished. As you know, the feeling of "Fuck, did I really say that shit?" comes back to haunt you for some time.

    I'm surprised he even took the time to apologize, because the woman I sent a very long winded and admittedly incoherent rant to, never spoke to me again.

    At least he probably realizes the mean things you said were more from your hurt emotions and understands if you really did not like him or felt that way, you'd be indifferent and wouldn't have taken the time to write all of that, which in turn made him feel bad, because he knows damn well he used you, too.

    Don't beat yourself up over it, and it's okay to be angry and hurt. Just next time, when you write your thoughts out, don't hit the "send" button. :-)

    • That's really nice of you say. :)

      My question was more geared towards if his first knee jerk reactions was to mention the other guys I've date was a sign of Jealousy.

    • You're welcome. I think you were more frustrated and hurt, but there was a little jealousy in there. But, like I said, you felt used and angry, so when it all came out, it all came out.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Poor guy, does someone really deserve that? Why carry so much hate? If I were him I'm not sure I'd still be friends with you after that.

    • Poor guy my ass. He deserved it, even he said he deserved it. He used me and lied to me to get sex by saying he wanted a relationship with me. When I asked him if he meant any of it he said I was being dramatic and to go away.

    • Show All
    • My question was more geared towards if his first knee jerk reactions was to mention the other guys I've date was a sign of Jealousy.

    • My answer is pretty much the same as I have said so far. I don't think it's jealousy, I think he is upset with what you said.

  • What does it matter if you hate him that much?

    • I don't hate him. I sent him a email after he apologized where I apologized for the stuff I said. He now wants to try and be friends with me (although we've made out since then). Things are complicated between us right now.

    • It sounds too complicated to get a reliable answer to be honest. The only advice I can give is that it sounds like you're quite angry (rightly or wrongly, I can't judge). Perhaps in future instead of lashing out just walk away.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't think it's jealousy, would he be jealous if he was the one who broke it up?


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