How do I "Grow a pair" lol?

Hey, I'll try to keep it short.

Around men, I am a confident, social, and funny guy. I have a lot of guy friends and I am pretty out going with them. I am in my late 20s, I look okay. I am the creative director in a marketing company with a bright future and a plan. I'm open minded, I speak multiple languages, I am looking to get serious. (Things that I think might make me a good candidate for a serious relationship)

Then when women come along (especially the prettier ones)... I don't know what happens. I become completely shy. My confidence drops dramatically. I have nothing to talk about any more. I try to ask them about themselves, because that's what I've been told but I always get those cold one sided answers. All the women I tried to approach pretty much ran off. My friend jokingly says I "Need to grow a pair". I mean it's bad. Even just as friends, I have like...2 female friends, and one of them is a tom boy, so she's more like a bro.

What do you girls think I should do?
Guys too. What do you think?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol. I would suggest for you that you treat women like you would treat the guys when approaching them.. but not EXACTLY like the guys.

    Whatever mindset you are when you're around your friends, force yourself into that same frame of mind while approaching a woman. Then introduce yourself to her and ask for her number.

    You will get rejected. Everyone does. It's not new. BUT... we can almost smell a lack of confidence and that's a big of turn-off for many of us. Some women don't have the patience for a man who is stumbling over his words and will get annoyed. Other women aren't as bitchy. You're not going to be successful or have a hit rate every time.

    I think you should pretend that you're going up to one of the guys--or get some liquid courage in you--then approach the girl.

    • Yes, strangely the alcohol works sometimes with me. But I don't want to live a drunkard all my life.

      How do you mean treat her like a dude, but not exactly? I am not sure I understand.

    • Show All
    • What do I say when I walk up to her? Let's we are at a party. We have a mutual friend called... Joe. And I approach you. What do I say? "Hey. My name is Mukheef. Nice to meet you. How do you know Joe?"

    • Seems like a great start to me.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well its not necessarily a bad thing. Just keep working at it. Like practice. I'm like that too, except I fail at taking to everyone. I studder, stop talking mid sentence and fail at going into detail. It's like my brain fogs up and I'm worried about sounding stupid. So when I talk to people I try being... very.. open. Be myself. Just talk to people as if they aren't observing me. I guess. I try not to care what others are thinking.

  • Ok well you're really on the right track with a lot of things and have the right idea. If i was an older woman I would be attracted to a smart, intellectual man. You know, most people can sense someone's confidence. And confidence is a big part of first impressions. Your confidence is probably hurting you because if you get shy around woman they will be able to tell and they will think you're awkward and less easy to approach. They wouldn't especially care about how you look, they wouldn't really mind. Practice with women you are close to like maybe a sister cousin or friend thats a girl.

  • Be more forward and flirty/friendly



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