Guys, Is he just not into me or is he just shy?

Guys, so I am 18 and I have gone on three dates with one of my guy friends (he specified they were dates and paid and everything) but he hasn't really made a move or tried to kiss me on any of the dates.. I think he likes me still since he asked me out again and to prom but I can't tell.. Do you think he is just to shy, or just doesn't know how to tell me he doesn't like me like that?
If you think he is too shy do you have any tips on how I can let him know I want to kiss him?
  • He is too shy
    Vote A
  • He doesn't like me more than a friend
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, these young punks on here have it wrong. He really digs you but he is all eat up with shy. You can encourage him but, when it happens, it needs to be something that he initiated. You want that kiss but you also want to build his confidence so that he will become more assertive.

    Next date, tell him your fingers are a little cold and ask him if he'll hold your hand. End of the date: he walks you to your front door (and if he doesn't automatically do this, you suggest it.) "I had a wonderful time, blah, blah, blah," and then you move in like your gonna kiss him but instead you give him a very affectionate hug tight arms around his torso. Then you move your head back, keep your arms around him, you look him in the eye and give him your most seductive "come hither" look, you turn your head like you're getting ready to kiss, you move in slightly , , , and you stop. Wait for him to close the distance; if he hesitates, you can prompt him with your hands on his back pulling him towards you. When it's over, say, "Wow. I can feel my heart beating. I hope there's a whole lot more of those wherever that came from."

    The idea is, when it's all over, you want him to say that he kissed you, not that you kissed him. This will give him the idea to become a little bit more assertive with the romance.

    I would appreciate receiving an update on how this worked if you decide to try it. I will also be expecting an invitation to the wedding!

    • ^ what he has said is in my opinion the best course of action after reading what everyone else had said.

    • Show All
    • You're very welcome, it's not everyday I hear an opinion much like my own when it comes to situations such as these, I have given this sort of advice for my own friends before, so when I read yours I knew this would be for the best for the asker, only thing is we hope she reads it and agrees.

    • Thank you! This sounds like excellent advice! I like the idea of him still "kissing me" even if I'm the one technically initiating it. And I don't think I can promise anything about a wedding but I'll defiantly leave and update after our next date!

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What Guys Said 7

  • As an extremely shy guy myself I usually find it hard to initiate stuff like that at first. Simply get into a conversation get him smiling, maybe a little hand holding or cuddling stare into his eyes for a second or two purse your lips and lean in. When I was younger all my exes had to initiate the first kiss.

  • he is too shy! if you have the confidence put the moves on him and kiss him. are you giving him much eye contact when you are talking? thats usually a pretty good indicator of him liking you or you liking him

    • Thx! And Yes we make a lot of eye contact... I haven't tried to make a move though because I'm afraid I'll come off as too forward or desperate since I am the girl :/

    • I have always been that nervous when it comes to making the move, girls have kissed me first. I have never once thought they were being to forward or desperate. have you been hugging, touching each other?

    • Yes I always hug him hello and goodbye and he does touch me (like he moves my hair or playfully polkes me) which is why I am confused to why he has not tried anything else. I understand if he wants to be respectful or a gentlemen (which he is. He always tells me I looks pretty, hold open doors, pays, etc..) but it is beginning to feel like mixed signals now

  • He's probably just nervous. If he didn't like you he wouldn't talk to you and definitely wouldn't keep asking you out. Either give him time to build up courage or make a move so he knows you're okay with it (it would boost his confidence tremendously if you made a move, even if it was just holding hands)

  • He could be too shy and can only see you as a Best Friend
    maybe you need to let him know how much you feel for him
    lot guys are too shy to make a move cause fear of rejection.
    he seems to be nice cause he hasn't made no moves.

  • He's crazy about you, but he's having a problem escalating to anything physical. It would be cute if it wasn't so frustrating.

  • you'll probably put him aside in less than 2 months.

  • You need to make the first move. Sitting on his lap facing him works and move in for the kiss.


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