I have borderline personality disorder. Am I going to ruin this relationship? How do I stop myself?
What Guys Said 3
You should seek therapy, and be completely upfront with this guy about your disorder
Do not lie to him about any of your impulsive behaviors, no matter how ashamed you may feel. If you are going to have any chance to make your relationship work with your disorder, he will need to fully understand your disorder, learn how to interact with you and understand what drives your behaviors. You will need to seek and actively participate In therapy and DBT. You will need to develop the behavioral control skills you have not developed or can of control. You will need to build a sting foundation of trust and personal integrity, which means even a “small” lie may be fatal to your relationship. This may be very difficult for you , as compulsive lying is a common preservation behavior BPD individuals are unable to moderate.
You sound very much like my current girlfriend. I love her greatly, and there would be very little I could not work through with her, except for lying. The relationship began with a lie, and trust is weak. You need that foundation for a successful and fulfilling relationship.
Good luck to you.
I don't know what that really is but my dad is remarried to something with serious mental issues.
Therapy, good support at home and time
What Girls Said 2
I have BPD myself. No experience dating past that revelation though, but I have spent time managing my relationships with friends and family while coping with this disease. From what I've read here, it seems your biggest challenge is the idealisation-devaluation cycle. I find that being self-aware helps.
Learn how to identify when you're doing either, and mediate between your emotions and reactions. Learn more about the complexities of society and the human mind; the grey areas that exist in life. Read more about the stories and life experiences of different people. All of that went into helping me see how complex people can be.
More importantly, seek treatment, if you haven't done that yet. It will go a long way to helping you restore your emotional balance.
It's going to be challenging but its not doomed
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