I'm dating this guy for four months now and I had no idea he's been cheating on me for the longest time. I believed he loved me and only me and wanted to save himself for marriage like myself. He's a good actor. Never came late, spoiled me, met everybody I'm close with and most importantly he listened to me and I trusted him. So when I heard he's been cheating on me and there was proof I broke down. I still love him but I know it won't work out. He's been asking what's wrong and I can't say I know what you did and I'm leaving you. There was only one sign I was worried about it was that his friends and my friends told me he was always seen riding in a car with a girl. I asked him about it and he said she was just a friend. He didn't even seem defensive about it so I let it pass. His friend showed me a picture of them together when he said he had a weekend trip with the boys. He said they originally planned a weekend trip but then he ended up staying in a separate room with the girl. They were holding hands, kissing and he even said they had sex a lot. I asked his friend how long this has been going on and he said a year before we started talking. They were always hook ups and a low key relationship. What hurts is that I know the girl. We bumped into her at a restaurant where she works and he said she was just a close friend nothing more. I found out she's casually dating other guys but not seriously. I know its bad to stay with him but I love him. I want to try to work it out even though everybody says its not worth it.
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From the way you describe it, the guy is completely narcisistic about it. He's seeing another girl who has her own flings and casual relationships. Its like he had this friend with benefits but didn't want to stop the benefits until into a committed relationship, only there is no committed relationship. Not the way he sees it. You're just a potential for being one; there was probably no DTR involved was there? You just assumed?
Anyway, he is a narcicist at worst and a shitty communicator at best. Neither is good boyfriend material. And you know this in your own words "I know its bad to stay with him but I love him."
Normally I counsel on the side of following love, even in questionable relationships, since I know people aren't perfect. But I think you got to say enough is enough, ya know? Deep down you know this isn't a tenable way to continue.
It is going to hurt, but you know what you must do.1