Is he shy? Or does he not like me?

I can't tell. He likes literally "likes" everything on my facebook. My girlfriend (who he is close with) told me he likes me a lot, and told me what he says about me, but it doesn't add up in person. He converses with me normally in person. When he sees me though he pats the top of my head or rubs my hair lol. He is really close with my girlfriend, and that is how I met him, through her because I just started to become friends with her like 3 months ago. Well, I notice that he calls her up, and always asks "What are you and Sara doing tonight?" On the phone he's always awkward.

He texted me and asked if I would go with him to this bar this Saturday, and I said "Yeah, I'll go with you." He said "Sweet", but then he called my girlfriend up later, and asked what me and her were doing and to come over to his place. He also always says I am "pretty", but I got drunk and I tried to kiss him and he gave me a peck. I told him I liked him and he just hugged me and gave a peck kiss. Then we were really drunk, and he got mad at some dude, and I turned around and smiled at him lol, and said "Hey, it's cool man!" I touched his hand, and then he kissed my hand, but he doesn't seem to progress anything? Is he shy? Or just not interested? Does this sound like a guy that's hiding his feelings? Or no?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I usually focus logic in my answers and careful reasoning.

    But on this one I'm going to go intuition. Something about this guy makes me think he is gunning for a threesome. He's going to stay cool with both of you. He can't do any committing because it will complicate things when/if it goes down. He'll end up as the accessory partner, but I don't think he cares.

    • Honestly, they don't have sex him and my friend. They use to date back in high school, but they are both 26 years old now, and they just remained platonic friends. They have a brother, sister relationship. I don't think he wants a threesome lol. He's not that type of guy at all.

    • Yeah I have no idea, haven't met the guy. I just thought of it because he always says your pretty and takes you up on outings like to the bar, but kind of holds back there.

      It can't be shyness, he's already crossed over that line. Refusal commit? Very highly possible. But unless he really likes certain outings that just "happen" to involve you two (fat chance), it just seems like its a waste of time -- why not pick up another chick there?

      You said him and the other girl dated back in highschool, so he probably isn't gay...

      So he just doesn't want to commit / hurt in the past etc.. or... setting up for that threesome. I've been offered once (declined) and I knew a friend who had one and the trick is always to let the girl bring it up, but be available and likeable enough that your name gets dropped. Well, that's the legend lore anyway. I honestly have no idea if there really is a recipe for that kind of thing, or if it even works.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Is he maybe a lot older and doesn't take you seriously? That would be my first guess. He sounds like he thinks of you as a kid sister.

    • He's 26, and I am 21. He's not that much older, but I get what you're saying lol. Thank you! :)

    • That's enough older that I'm pretty sure he doesn't take you seriously, especially now that you're a blonde!

  • isn't it wrong? because she is already in a relationship whatever from what i have read doesn't seems this guy is shy

    • Huh? I am not in a relationship with anybody, and neither is my friend who is a girl. I called her my girlfriend because I didn't want the post to be confused. But no we are all single haha.

  • Maybe he is fearful on being rejected. Sounds like it so complicated

    • Yeah, maybe. When I said I liked him, he said to me "You're drunk", so I don't even think he believed that I like him. I have no idea, but thank you for commenting.

  • could be both could be neither

  • It's hard to say, based on what you've written. He didn't push you away or turn his head when you kiss him, so that's promising. When you say you want him to "progress," do you mean you want him to ask you out, do more than just kiss you, etc?

    • Yeah, like he doesn't ask me out, or try to have sex with me. He acts normal with me, and he compliments me, he's not totally platonic with me, but he did at one point initiate the stupid kiss lol. because I hugged him and he went in for it, but it was a peck haha. I do remember him saying to me "You're drunk", when I said I liked him, so I don't know if he thought that I was "drunk"? and not really feeling him?

    • For me, if a woman acts affectionate while she's hammered, I don't know if that's how she really feels or if that's just the alcohol talking. See if he reacts any differently if you act affectionate towards him when you're sober.

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