Is she too polite to say no to me OR is she just on the fence?

I recently went out on a date with a girl. Afterwards, I ask for her number so we can stay in touch. She politely declines and tells me to add her on Facebook, claiming she is always on FB messenger. At this point, I suspect she's not that interested. And it's a pretty smooth move for her to drop the FB line to let me down gently. It's a nice way to blow me off and give herself an out, with zero intentions of actually accepting.

It turns out she actually accpts the request a couple of hours later. So I have nothing to lose, so I shoot her the standard "I had a great time, she was pretty cool, let's do it again" message. She actually responds promptly with "Thanks :)". I'm surprised at why she even accepted the request in the first place. Just ignore the request and/or block me. And if she's not interested, why respond at all? Just ignore me, now that we're no longer in person.

I don't hear from her for a couple of days, so I just wanted to reach out one last time. I ask her if she's free over the weekend. I was hoping to find out if she's truly interested. I even mention that "it's okay if she's not interested. I totally understand." I get a message about twenty minutes later saying she's "kinda busy over the weekend, but maybe afterwards when we are both free". I get the hint from the “busy” line. But why does she say “maybe afterwards when we are both free”? Why even bring it up? A simple “Hey, sorry I’m busy this weekend” would suffice.

I would have preferred her to either ignore my messages or say she's not interested. Either one would be clear in showing disinterest. But I don't really know what to make of this.

What do you guys think? Most of my friends think it's one of the following reasons:
A) She is too afraid/shy/awkward to say she's not interested
B) She is playing the field, and I'm not her first choice
C) She is probably ambivalent or on the fence

  • A) Afraid to say 'not interested'
    Vote A
  • B) Playing the field
    Vote B
  • C) On the fence
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • She's definitely not interested. Sorry :(

    • Hey, it's okay. I'm moving on from it. Thanks though. But I'm just curious, why doesn't she say "sorry, i'm not interested" after I specifically tell her "it's okay if you're not interested. I totally understand" ?

Most Helpful Guy

  • People live in a negative world and at the first sign of resistance, they think "oh, she is not interested anymore" lol

    You know what, its okay if she's this way. Turn the table put the burden on her shoulder. Say you would wait till certain date and if she finds the time so just to let you know."

    Forget about the timeline and just enjoy the process. Message her and show genuine interest (sexual intention) to get to know her. Observe small things about her. If she never come up with a date be it but you must not hint at the deadline ever.

    Say" so my deadline ended and you didn't call me, however I would like to put a decent closure on it. Let's see each other for coffee. We will just talk, laugh and have a good time before we part our ways. Be you COME or don't COME. thanks for the wonderful time. Appreciated"

    If you have kept the good rapport with her on Fb. She will come to see you. Simply because you didn't lose your cool and still willing to face rejection head on without making a scene. Requires lot of courage and confidence to do it.

    Remember attraction for looks dies quickly but attraction for character is intoxicating. Good luck!


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • None of the above is my answer. I say she is interested and is waiting to see your level of interest. It's totally possible she has been played before and is sort of playing defense to find out your intent before getting duped again. Start out by asking if she likes certain things and just tell her your asking to maybe make a date plan ahead of time. She will both know you do intend to be here beyond the first date , and her opinion matters. Hard to go wrong with showing an interest in her thoughts and opinion


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