Found a good hearted guy, problem is I am not sexually attracted to him?

Met online, he is lovely. So kind and generous an exactly what i want in a guys personality but i do not find his looks attractive. Yesterday i had to break it to him.

He took it badly, cried etc. I felt so awful. He said he's so good to ladies but gets hurt. He said maybe cus he's not good looking. An he told me his ex betrayed his trust but he did all the things possible to make her happy.

He's so sweet but very sensitive. I've never dated that type of guy so i never considered that there are guys who are this way. He keeps saying give him a chance an he will make me happy.

I told him my niece's birthday is next week an he said he will buy her something. An said anyone connected to me is important to him. I told him he don't have to.

He's mentioned taking me London eye, aquarium, to dinner, cinema. Normal dating places. He lives London so would be long distance. He said he will pay for aa train open ticket.

He's all i've wanted but i do not think i fancy him but i like his kind heart. It's so hard.


Most Helpful Guy

  • My last gf I wasn't attracted too but I really liked her personality.
    It was ok to begin with but as time went on I just couldn't grow my feelings further so I ended it after only 4 months.
    I felt bad because she deserved better as she was so nice.
    Maybe it might be better for you and you might become more attracted to him, maybe not though.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You could give him a chance and just go on a couple dates and see if your attraction changes.

    • Yeah that's what he said

    • nah thatd be using him if she's not attracted now she never will be. if she was on the fence about his looks then thatd be different.

    • It wouldn't really be using him @thatkaruguy. The whole point of dates when you first meet someone is to get to know them and see if possible attraction can increase. There have been guys that I never thought about but once I got to know them, I was oddly attracted. I mean you never know, but I feel like his desperateness might already just cause a big turn off. Maybe you are right though. He might think that just because she's giving him a chance that she'll start a relationship.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Literally the definition of what i have just gone through, except we dated and i helped her, through a depressive spell, family issues, ex issues, being suicidal, making her realize her dreams, getting her a doctor, i'm everything she seems to want, looks, personality, beard, hair, sarcasm, we even share similar interests, everything is golden, yet since her ex broke her heart again when she thought she had hope and he dated someone else, then all of that, i'm just not attractive at all well i am but i'm not the kind of person she see's herself in a relationship with even after being in one for near three months, i thought we had bonded on a deep level due to being there for each other through hell so to speak, but i'm now a great friend who she confides in and is afraid to lose, she hates herself for not liking me but i don't understand why, she says bad timing and that i'm too good for her and great, but yet she cannot lose me, she's opened up to me so intimately, but is now dating someone else and occasionally talks to me i just feel heartbroken and pushed away, as I've had many stupid experiences from cheated on to rubbish from their end, too smart, too short, but if i talk to a woman in a nicer way, she does get a little jealous only a little, its like she's afraid to love me back over fear of losing me or scaring me, she's so open to me but yet so closed off in some aspects if that makes sense, even her best friend thinks i'm amazing ( one of a kind not many like you about ) yet i'm the only person she's ever accepted compliments from, and made her feel good about herself, she was scared her piercings, or tattoo would scare me, and few other things, personally i am confused as heck i mean i don't want to push her away but i can't have feelings for her forever if she isn't going to show them back, but it just hurts to have gone through so much with someone and it to just fizzle out on her end.

    Maybe you can see something i can't? Just talk it through with the guy nicely.

    • It sounds. like she's playing games though. I have been totally honest with the guy

    • Yeah it does feel like that to be honest, and i know you have, she has with me to an extent, but thanks for your input :)

    • Ok well all best i hope you find a girl who wants you as much as you want her

  • Well, how much will you regret it if you walk away?
    If your walking away, do it sooner rather than later.
    If you hang in there, let's be honest you have to be happy yourself, so give 100% and have no doubts...
    Either way, good luck

  • Well it's not the first time a decent guy has been friendzoned for his looks. If you appreciate the guy, then break it off with him. Don't give him false hope if you think by kicking it with him you may grow to like him.

  • Do the right thing and leave him alone before 1 of y'all too gets 2 far in 2 win. meaning 1 of y'all gone take an "L" before this is all said and done.

    Him via getting his heart broken after being lead on or you dating him even though you aren't physically attracted to him. So yeah this was doomed from the start I guess.

  • Sounds like a pretty common situation.

  • what does he look like and age?


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