Is it wrong to date a few men at one time.......over 30's please

So here it is...i am on a dating site...and after getting burned by someone on there(we were suppose to be exclusive...but he was still on there looking)So finished it.Anyway now rather than just date one man I have decided to date a few at a time...just dating no sex...(didn't have sex with previous person either I like to wait and get to know them properly if poss.So is it just date and see how it goes kinda thing with different men rather than put my eggs in one basket again...And do I need to tell these men...After all it is a dating site and until you both say exclusive and are in a relationship I really don't see the point...What you think.Answers please.Thanks.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have a different definition to dating. By that definition you aren't doing anything wrong.

    You see, by "dating exclusively" you aren't comitting to one person as in a relationship. Dating is a method of courtship where you select the best suitor for your desires and then place that suitor into a relationship with yourself.

    During this time, I would recommend one of two things about "leading them on":

    1) Avoid leading them on at all costs, if they become attatched you will get burnt again (they will be hurt and lash that out in a method to lessen their own pain)

    2) Tell them upfront that you are looking for someone that is boyfriend material - and you are talking with several others. Let them know that you will make a decision eventually as to you and the other person being friends or a relationship (and please don't let that draw out indefinately)

    If you have other concerns/questions - let me know~

    Best regards,


    • HI I am not into playing games.......and I am not leading anyone on......told them all I am chatting with a few....but a few have asked me out and I just want to date and see who get along with.......if by chance I really like someone then I would be honest and upfront and tell the others......Thanx for reply.

    • Show All
    • Thanx for you kind words and replys......i will take them on board.......

    • My pleasure. By the over use of "." it seems something is still unclear to you, if you have questions feel free to ask =)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • As long as you let them know, there is no real problem. Also, must you really date online? Surely you can meet men in some other activity no?


What Girls Said 5

  • I think it's wise to keep all of your options open. You're only dating and there is no commitment. Until both parties agree to be exclusive then he or she should date as many people as he/she wants. Obviously its deceitful to do this when you're already serious with someone.

    Like you, someone burned me very badly, but I haven't found the courage to date again.

    Good luck.

    • Hi I am so sorry to hear that.......i was very upset but I refused to let him put me off dating sites and dating full stop.......Thank you for reply.....and please be strong in yourself and get back out there and show him what he is missing.Good luck to you.

  • i think it's perfectly fine to date as many guys as you want UNTIL you and a guy settle on an exclusive relationship.

    so recently I was simultaneously dating two guys. I chose to do this, because I liked one guy and didn't want to put too much pressure on myself about him. I dated the second guy to take the edge off the first guy. funny enough, things didn't work out with the first guy and I developed feelings for the second guy. we're dating right now and I'm loving every minute!

    definitely don't keep all your eggs in one basket, but once you become exclusive you should only be dating one guy.

  • i would think its assumed on a dating site that you are dating and not exclusive until you have both agreed to be. I don't see why you can't just come right out and say you are dating casually.

  • I'm not sure what would be wrong about it, unless you're lying to someone about being exclusive. Have fun, and explore what's out there.

    • Hi no I don't lie...hate lies in fact......all I have said is I am chatting with a few at the mo....but no mention of dates.....Thanx for reply.

  • No there is nothing wrong. Unless you are in an exclusive relationship you can date as many people as you want. Its not good to put all your eggs in one basket anyway. If you think about it, most guys date like this anyway...very rarely do they wait on 1 and only girl. I just wouldn't tell the guy in detail what I'm doing..just be very vague if you even have to answer it at all. Some guys run with it and think you're sleeping with all these people and then they won't take you as seriously. So just keep your business to yourself when you date a lot of people