Why does he distance everytime we get real close?

Been dating a guy for 9 months. We aren't seeing other people and pretty much see eachother every weekend and he calls me his gf , introduced me to friends and contacts me everyday. What i realzied is everytime we spend a weekend together and i stay over his place and we get super close, he gets distantish. He does contact but contact is less and just seems more distant. Why is he getting distant after intimacy?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hmmm... If he isn't seeing other women and seems to think of you as his girlfriend, then I'm not sure why he becomes so distant.

    Do you mind describing some more examples of how he acts when it confuses you so I can get a better idea of the entire picture?

    I'm wondering if he's afraid to really commit? Subconsciously he might worry about thinking he will have to settle down and might miss whatever else is out there. That's just a speculation, but I'm just trying to figure it out with you.

    • thanks for your answer! I have a feeling it's the commitment. He did tell me once when he broke up with me that he's afraid of having a gf because of bad experiences in his past so he has an emotionak brick wall up:(

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    • Thanks for your answer! I agree! The problem is his heart is closed off he's not open to give or recieve love. I feel like until he opens his heart, he will never fall in love with anyone

    • That could be true, and if that's the case, it's too bad. What that also tells me is he's still not over his ex and hasn't been able to let go and move on, which should be no consolation to you.

      People don't just stop dating or committing completely because of a bad experience, unless it was so traumatic they ended up in the psych ward for weeks. Instead, he's either not over an ex, or he's just "comfortable" but not really in love with you. I hate saying that, because I don't want to make you feel bad; I'm just looking at it objectively and making an opinion based on many experiences.

      I think you can do better than this shit.

What Girls Said 1

  • If you have sex and he gets distant after perhaps that is all he's interested in is sleeping with you so id ask him what you are to him? how does he see you as? does he intend to make a connection? or just run off every time you intimate and have sex? the only reason guys usually get distant like that is because that's all they want us just sex, it definitely seems that way.

    • we don't always have sex. So i feel like there's another reason :(

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    • @emmabee11 I totally agree, because if this guy was truly in love with her, he would want to be around her much more often and wouldn't feed her the bullshit excuse of "Oh, poor titty baby me, I was hurt in the past by a big, mean girl" as to why he can't commit.

    • Lol that seems to be the main excuse with guys lately, they say they got hurt because people get so angry and butt hurt these days but really it was then who hurt girls

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