If you didn't get to see your boyfriend/girlfriend very often and when you did they turned down sex, what would you do?

I know that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship, and my boyfriend does have a lower sex drive than I do. My boyfriend lives an hour away so I don't get to see him very often. I haven't seen him in three weeks, but I will be seeing him this weekend. I mentioned how I wasn't going to let him out of my room when he comes up this weekend, and he said that wouldn't be fun since he has already had enough of a workout at work.(He works in a lumberyard moving wood all day). This is the first time he's turned down sex. Every other time we've seen eachother we've had sex.

It kind of hurts knowing he would actually turn me down, especially since he's always talking about how much he misses me and stuff when we have to go a long time without see eachother. We haven't seen eachother in three weeks and the next time I see him could be in two weeks or it could be the end of May.

What would you do? Or if you've had that happen before, what did you do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • We you guys texting? He might have been making a joke... but it didn't translate over text.

    • Yep we were texting. I texted him later after he went to bed because I was mad and he replied in the morning. Apparently he was joking.

    • Yeahhhh... I make a rule for myself about never getting too worked up over something that upsets me in a texting convo... if he says something via text that bothers me, I'll ask him about it in person because 99% of the time it'll be a misunderstanding...

    • Well he's the type of guy that if I say like "no sex" as punishment for something, he wouldn't care. Which is why I thought he was serious. I'm the one in the relationship that usually wants sex the most. It wouldn't bother him if he didn't get sex.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Yeah, that would hurt. What I did when young and dating was I just felt sad and carried on.

    What I would do, knowing what I know now, in that position, is if this is a frequent thing, dump them. Because it may not be the most important thing in a relationship, but it's top three to me, and if its' not to them, we're not compatible.

  • Your needs are important too, so just talk about it with him. Also sometimes when a guy has had a busy day /week he could honestly just be dreaming about going to bed For sleep. .. lol!
    But if you let him relax a little bit and maybe not even ask for sex and instead just let it happen, then maybe he will be all about it and it will be great.
    You sound like a good girlfriend, so I'm sure he will be ready if and when you pounce. It's a huge turn on when the woman takes initiative in bed.

    • Well I was upset so I texted him about it and he said he was just kidding. He said he couldn't go three weeks without it.

  • Time to move on.

    • I'm not giving up on a relationship that easy.

    • Show All
    • I know he's not cheating because he's not a cheater. He just, to him sex isn't important. Its something he can live without if he had to. If I was mad at him and withheld sex from him, that wouldn't bother him. Its so frustrating.

What Girls Said 2

  • He has another girl.

    • Doubtful, he's not a cheater. He's been cheated on before, he wouldn't cheat. Besides, when we first met, he was in a relationship. He waited until after he broke up with his ex to come visit me at school, because he didn't want to cheat and knew he would if he came to visit me before he broke up with her.

    • Besides, he wouldn't cheat, every time either I have to leave or he has to leave, I always end up crying, which in turn makes him cry.

    • So are you defending him of asking for opinions?
      My answer is that. Time to look for a man that shares your same sexual needs. And I'm off to bed. Good luck

  • find a better boyfriend. it is important.


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