Am I justified in confronting this guy?

So we first met at a party, ended up making out, that was it, I just kind of didn't think anything would come out of it, and wasn't about to get my hopes up. but he ended up messaging me the next day on facebook, we talked there, then he found my note with my number on it, and started texting me, then he added me on snapchat, and we talked there.
We started hanging out, we're in similar majors and I had already taken a bunch of the classes he's in, we just both have calc 2. At hangout number 7 (april 15th) I slept over (we had planned this after the one before this) and we Just made out, and I slept over we also talked a little bit. Then I went over there at 4AM on Saturday night (april 18th) (I strongly debated this one, but I knew he was busy this weekend so I did, I also wasn't going to do anything I didn't want to do) and we just made out and I slept over. the next morning he said maybe I could come over later (his mom was in town so I figured this wouldn't happen)
So we haven't hung out in about a week and a half. Before he would ask me if i wanted to come over and we would usually just work on homework, and sometimes watch netflix after (his roommate was always there, so it was just hanging out, nothing happened) I asked him to hangout last Wednesday and he had to finish a lab report (this was legit, these lab reports are 20+ pages and he had lab the next day), so I asked about Thursday and he said he was going out with his friends (which was perfectly fine he's allowed to have friends).
then last night I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said he had to study for a final he had tomorrow (today) otherwise he would. So I asked him about tomorrow (today) and he didn't respond for 4 hours so I texted him and said "I'm just going to take your silence as a no" and he responded, "I'm just trying to study for my test sorry" and I said "Sorry I know you're studying and I didn't mean to disturb you, it had just been a while and you didn't answer.
Essentially I texted him, and he said he would see what he's doing tomorrow night, and I told him to let me know either way. and he said he would.

What I really want to know is If I'm justified in asking him whats up with him, and why he's kind of been distant... I honestly haven't done anything I feel like is wrong... and when I talk to him in person he's friendly and everything. I just want to know whats up


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's a busy time. I wouldn't take his lack of time at the moment too personally. It sounds like he is trying to be a responsible student. If his time frees up a lot and he still avoids you, then that is a problem. I don't think that is the case though.

    • See thats what I'm caught between, I know he's busy. But I also know he goes Frisbee golfing pretty much every other afternoon (because I drive past the course on my way to the store and see his truck in the parking lot all the time) I just feel like if he really cared, he would try and put effort in. Also we end school next Friday , and I live 4 hours away, so I feel like he's just trying to not turn it into something. But I just want to know how he feels, and honestly I feel like I don't deserve to be treated this way

    • Show All
    • Thanks, I feel the same way, I don't want to accuse him in any way, the most he's done is kind of just not given me some decency. I didn't know if I was justified in telling him anything, because Its not like we were dating or anything...
      and I do want to talk to him, its kind of why I want to hang out with him, but he keeps "Being busy" so I feel like I might have to send him a text, and I know thats not ideal, but I don't know what I should say... I don't want to be accusing him, I just really want to know why he's suddenly kind of being weird at least on the hanging out front... when we talk in person, granted its mostly been about school stuff, we're fine! I just don't know whats up with him

    • I know what you mean. Communication in other mediums vs in person can always lead to some sort of confusion. Poor communication through other mediums isn't always indicative of the actual situation or how someone feels about you. And yeah, I agree that using electronic means to confront him is not ideal, but if you think it is urgent, then calling him would be the next best thing. But try to talk to him in person if you can. Good luck!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Confront him about what? You were harassing him while he's trying to study. 4 hours is nothing.

  • Confronting people who don't give a shit is a waste of energy, just move on.

    • but what did I do wrong? like when we talk in person he's fine, and completely normal... he just hasn't been asking me to hang out

What Girls Said 2

  • Don't confront him. He probably thinks that you are not interested. You said at "hangout number 7, you guy just made out?" At some point you might want to put out.

    • I mean I was topless if that makes a difference... he knows I'm a virgin, and he said that was fine, and he said it wasn't a bad thing, he also told me he didn't think I moved like a virgin (not too sure what that means)

    • At some point you have to put out. Sex is a natural thing. It had been seven dates and you didn't put out? I have never had any interest in a guy if I didn't put out after the six date. Sex says that you are attracted to each other. Also, what if later on in the relationship both of you find out you have horrible sexual chemistry? Sex is an important part of a relationship for men and women. I have broken up with men for not being good at sex. That is why you eventually have to test the waters first.

    • I wouldn't exactly call hanging out dates, and for me personally I'm not going to have sex unless I'm in a relationship. If we're not sexually compatible we can find out then. but its just my personal values

  • Yes, you are.


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