Gut tells me one thing, advice tells me another... which route should I follow?

A girl dumped me beginning of the year after only a month and a half of dating... I friendzoned myself by pushing too hard, and dug myself out again by communicating i didn't want just friendship and backed off. It's been about 4 months since then, and I can't help feel there is something wrong about the picture. And if there is one thing i know, my gut is rarely wrong, especially when it's a strong feeling about something.

Essentially i want to ask her out again. I don't want to rekindle, i want to start afresh, with the new perspective of things that i've learned since that time. However, i've got too many "Do this, don't do this" things going on. All of which i understand fully, and apply to every aspect of my life. One person says, don't contact her she's gone, another person says wait for her to reach out then set a date, and various other stories and what-nots. Not to mention the various stories i've heard from loved ones that defied the most logical direction.

Problem is, they're all conflicting bits of information, while at the same time they all make sense. Why would i want someone who doesn't want me? I must let go, and give her the freedom to choose whether or not she wants to come back, and continue with life regardless. But I should go for what i want right? That conflicts with everything...

I don't want to beg, i dont' want to plead, and i certainly don't want to force her to do anything. But i do want to drop her a message and ask her out again, but i'm stuck between the various bits of information and am struggling to come to a decision about the whole thing. So far I haven't done anything at all, except focus on my own personal development and progress. This is one decision I find hard to make, however, so I'm reaching out to those more experienced in this department than I. Love gurus out there, what would your advice be in this situation?
I should mention that she has contacted me at all since then, but a) she hasn't dated anybody since then b) she still has me on social media (even instagram, and i deleted her from there)... Advice tells me to take it that she isn't interested, otherwise she'd have contacted me, but again, something feels wrong about it. Especially since she's never been in a full LTR before and told me herself she doesn't know what to do half the time. Is it the devil on my shoulder, or truly my gut?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Always follow your gut. 99.99% of the time it is right


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