Caught in between my looks and age. Instant rejection every time. How do I break from this?

I don't get it. I'm a pretty successful guy. Educated, good job, sharp dresser, self-confident, articulate, and not a show-off. Definitely not a '10', but above average for sure, though a bit slender.
And I can't for the life of me not get even a first date, and here's why...

I look and act approximately 7 years younger than I am.
Usually this means I attract women 10-12 years younger than me.
And while this isn't exactly a problem in itself, 99/100 times interest in me drops from boiling hot to freezing, the second the subject of age comes up. Wham! Instantly dirty old man.

And in the odd chance I pull in a woman my own age, the same thing happens, but in reverse.
Hoping to catch a young piece of man-candy, the second my age comes up, no interest.

To me, age isn't really a big deal. I don't care if they're 28 or 45, what matter is that I'm attracted to them, and not just physically.
But even when picking my own prospects, this pattern just keeps repeating itself.
The second my age is out = instant turnoff.

And I'm litterally in my prime, things couldn't be better, except for the fact I can't get women.
How do I break from this cycle? I can't change my age, and I'm not really in a hurry to look older.

Do I need to act stupid? Quit my job and work at McDonalds? Dress like a slob, Play the shy guy routine? Start talking garbage? Or is it just the fact that I don't feel the urge to flash my success?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well some women, such as myself, like older guys ;) in any case you shouldn't change who you are because if you build a relationship on lies from the beginning you'll hurt yourself more in the end especially if you get really serious about her...

    • So what you're saying is 'Keep doing what you're doing; eventually someone will bite' ?

    • Show All
    • Don't sweat it :-)

      I'm gonna give you MHO, just for the conversation :-)

    • Wanted to just say I agree with this MH, and also would add... instead of changing who you are, be even MORE obvious about who you are. there are women in their late 20's who would like a guy your age, but to find them you need to be open about it. 3/4 of them might walk immediately, but that's fine. 1/4 will think they've found the perfect guy.

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • It's better to look younger than your age instead of looking older. The paragraph with all of the questions; I don't think you should do any of them. Maybe when they ask your age you could just say... well age is just a number right?

    • Frankly, I don't think avoiding the question is gonna cut it.
      Buy me some time at best, but eventually I'll have to come clean.

    • Hopefully by then, they will like you for your looks and personality, not your age.

    • Never made is past 1st date... if I manage to get that far.

  • You bore people easily. You don't evoke emotional intensity. :P

    • 1. You don't make them feel comfortable enough to speak to you on a long term basis
      2. You haven't changed the way you communicated to them.

    • Well, can't be anyone but who I am.
      If that isn't enough, I'm probably better off anyway.

  • Its not easier for women. good luck

  • I think you need to change what u look for in girls and try and start fresh. If u find that someone then go for it. And if you are not confide t in who u are. Dont ask anyone out.


What Guys Said 1

  • That's funny, I have been married to someone 15 years younger, and currently girls half my age flirt with me in public in a meaningful way (like please please please ask me for my phone number!) I don't know what to say.


Recommended myTakes