He said he is monogamous with me, does that mean I shouldn't be dating others?

We've been on four dates and he already took me to meet 2 groups of his friends. We already got physcial on third date. On fourth date I let him know that is not that I normally do and The way he has the effect to make me do things outside of my character scares me a little. I admitted I really like him but I know this is very early stage and I barely know him to know what to do.

he goes is that a good or bad thing? he said I think the effect is mutaul. However he is way more experience than me in relationship and sex. so sleeping with people is not a big deal to him. he add that he is always monogamous.

I don't want to date or sleep others but I'm scared of getting hurt, as I'm not sure where this is going and I like him a lot.. Since he said we are mono does that mean I can't meet new people now?
I hope the "he's been monogamous" talk wasn't just to keep me at back burner...



Most Helpful Guy

  • What he was saying is he feels you are exclusive. If you don't share these feelings for him , it would be best to tell him

    • I stopped meeting guys as soon as I met him. It's my insecurities are telling me that may be I shouldn't put all eggs in one basket cos he might hurt me.

      I'm very happy to hear we are exclusive. Stupid questions.. Does it translate we are boyfriend / girlfriend now? Or not really?

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    • True.. nothing is guaranteed in life.. I texted the other guys that I've met someone and they didn't respond.. guess they are just bitter..

      I'm all focused on him now.. and I do see him as a boyfriend.. that's just unbelievable.. I've been single for a long time.. just met him for a bit longer than 2 weeks over 4 dates and I'm not single anymore!

    • Well that great. It will be much better if you don't focus on the what if and just allow your self to be happy

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What Guys Said 2

  • It was a request to stay monogamous with him. It was also him fishing for your feelings about the two of you. I think it was also an inquiry as to weather or not you were seeing anyone.

    • I told him I always do monogamous also I think from what I told him about his power on me he should know about my feelings for him? or not really?

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    • I really like him, I'm not thinking of cheating. I'm scared of being hurt. I'm thinking of looking for back up to protect my feelings, just for emotional support nothing physical.. even I know the day he stop seeing me i will be hurt even if I got a harem of guys...

    • Just in case if he tell me stuff like "all I said was I'm monohgamouse, doesn't mean I'm your boyfriend or exclusive to you" i will feel like a fool for closing other opportunity

  • He wants to be your boyfriend but wants to test the water first, he is scared you will get freaked out or something.


What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds he really likes you, genuinely likes you and it seems his normal dating etiquette is to not date multiple people at the same time. If you aren't either and want to keep it that way then let him know you aren't either.

    I don't know about calling yourself boyfriend and girlfriend. Personally if I've decided not to see anyone else and the other person has too, then to me that's an exclusive relationship. To me an exclusive relationship means he's my boyfriend. He isn't anyone else's and he isn't available so why wouldn't he be? Of course this is my view. The only way you can tell as to where he thinks you both are is to speak to him. Starting the relationship off on a good foot and being upfront and honest with each other is only a good thing. As for all your eggs in one basket, well what's the alternative - lots of baskets? Makes looking after your eggs rather difficult and certain eggs may get neglected and lost. Anyway, enough egg metaphors: what do you really have to lose by allowing yourself to develop a relationship? You can't tell what's going to happen, no one can so if it feels right then go for it. Life is too short to play games and hold back.

    • yes I really like him too! Part of me is scared that this is too good to be true cos the longest relationship he ever had was 1 year.. and he had many GFs in the past.. I'm afraid I can't keep him happy and he will be bored of me really soon.

      You are right life is too short to play games. I have to try not to let my fear ruin this.

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    • Well you don't need to play mind games to keep someone interested if there is already genuine interest. It just isn't required and if games and tricks are used them it's quite obvious the relationship won't last.

      I don't know the details but he seems to end relationships quite easily. How long was he with these women for before ending it? It's very difficult to tell from such a small amount of detail though so I won't speculate.

      With regards to the other guys you're in contact with, I would just let them know that you've met someone and you think that it's worth making a go of. If they are decent guys they will wish you all the best and be happy for you, if they are jealous assholes who were out for their own gain then it will be quite obvious when you get bitter replies. Could be a nice bit of info for you to remember if things with this current guy don't work out. At least you had a bit of insight into the other guys attitudes when they don't have the chance at dating you.

    • The girl who embarrassed him was with him for 4 months, and the girl he was seeing he was with her for may be 1 month or so. Yes he does seem to end things quickly.. I guess he doens't waste his time? Which can be a good thing.. meaning he knows what he wants and won't waste his time on those he doens't see a future with? I don't know..

      I tend to end things quickly as well but then would regret LOL

      You are right if games are involved it's not genuine interest, reaons I felt like I need games cos a few of my exs were hung up on their exs who cheated on them, and they are not really physcially attractive or intelligent.. so I assume they must be good at mind games for them to have such power over them.

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