Im a super shy and awkward kind of person when I don't know someone and I definitely come across that way to strangers. I'm the type to just look away if someone makes eye contact and blush, its super annoying! I'm wondering how I can become a more confident person, so more approachable?
I'm going overseas soon so I wanna meet new people which is kinda hard to do when I'm too shy to start a conversation. I've recently come out of a relationship so recently I've been noticing that I don't get noticed and I'm thinking its partly to do with my lack of social skills.
thanks in advance xo
Most Helpful Guy
Turning from shy to confident is not as easy as you think, although very possible. It's a huge shift in your mentality (almost like changing your personality but it's not). The reason why you're shy is because of the beliefs you hold in your belief system, the insecurities whether it'd be thinking that you're not attractive, you're not wanted, people are going to think you're weird etc. what you need to do is find those beliefs that pull you down and execute them. After you've done that, replace them with positive beliefs such as 'I'm actually pretty hot, a lot of people admire me, I'm awesome etc.' it's 100% proven to work reason? "How you think, determines how you behave" so whatever originates from your mind, that is the source of your actions and will.
Now that you got your belief system going for you, all you need to do is now train yourself to be less socially awkward and shy, which would be going out there... In the wild and socialize. There's no other way.
Start out by talking to ANYONE you find, for ANYA reason, I don't care if it's your grandma, your dog or even a ghost, just TALK. The more you talk, the more easier it is for you to be social - the more exposure you get, the better and more comfortable you are when talking to people and sooner or later, it's going to just come natural to you. Then maybe that thought of 'will that guy think I'm creepy cause I talked to him?' Will be diminished because this is what you do, you talk to everyone.
Also, DO NOT avoid for back down any social situations for example if you see a cute guy, you'd look away or if you see anyone that makes you nervous (someone you know) you walk away because you don't want to have a conversation and deal with the awkwardness, instead you go right at it. Each time you avoid the situation, you're creeping into your comfort zone and the more shy you'll become and the more easier it is for you to just back away, going right at the situation takes you out of that comfort zone...1
Most Helpful Girl
Fake it until you make it, you will soon become it. Confidence comes from doing the things that make us uncomfortable so fake it you will soon become it.2