How to come across as confident?

Im a super shy and awkward kind of person when I don't know someone and I definitely come across that way to strangers. I'm the type to just look away if someone makes eye contact and blush, its super annoying! I'm wondering how I can become a more confident person, so more approachable?
I'm going overseas soon so I wanna meet new people which is kinda hard to do when I'm too shy to start a conversation. I've recently come out of a relationship so recently I've been noticing that I don't get noticed and I'm thinking its partly to do with my lack of social skills.
any advice?
thanks in advance xo


Most Helpful Guy

  • Turning from shy to confident is not as easy as you think, although very possible. It's a huge shift in your mentality (almost like changing your personality but it's not). The reason why you're shy is because of the beliefs you hold in your belief system, the insecurities whether it'd be thinking that you're not attractive, you're not wanted, people are going to think you're weird etc. what you need to do is find those beliefs that pull you down and execute them. After you've done that, replace them with positive beliefs such as 'I'm actually pretty hot, a lot of people admire me, I'm awesome etc.' it's 100% proven to work reason? "How you think, determines how you behave" so whatever originates from your mind, that is the source of your actions and will.

    Now that you got your belief system going for you, all you need to do is now train yourself to be less socially awkward and shy, which would be going out there... In the wild and socialize. There's no other way.

    Start out by talking to ANYONE you find, for ANYA reason, I don't care if it's your grandma, your dog or even a ghost, just TALK. The more you talk, the more easier it is for you to be social - the more exposure you get, the better and more comfortable you are when talking to people and sooner or later, it's going to just come natural to you. Then maybe that thought of 'will that guy think I'm creepy cause I talked to him?' Will be diminished because this is what you do, you talk to everyone.

    Also, DO NOT avoid for back down any social situations for example if you see a cute guy, you'd look away or if you see anyone that makes you nervous (someone you know) you walk away because you don't want to have a conversation and deal with the awkwardness, instead you go right at it. Each time you avoid the situation, you're creeping into your comfort zone and the more shy you'll become and the more easier it is for you to just back away, going right at the situation takes you out of that comfort zone...

    • ... Takes you out of that comfort zone, and 'trains' you, and so each time you're faced with the situation, you embrace the discomfort and opportunities and sooner or later, the more you linger around the feeling of discomfort, the more your comfort zone is being stretched to the point where you're comfortable with everything!

      These are just tip of the ice-berg advice but are one of the biggest and most important. It will take time for you to adjust but if you stick to it, it will be phenomenal.

      I don't think you'd find trouble breaking through your belief system tho cause you do look pretty cute 😘👌

    • @QooLipBite - Do trust in what this guy here said. This is high quality expert advice ! (How do I know - advanced psychology )

      What he's talking about is the principle of auto-suggestion : You are what you think you are.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Fake it until you make it, you will soon become it. Confidence comes from doing the things that make us uncomfortable so fake it you will soon become it.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Set your target, be brave, be adaptive to the situation but not over do it.
    I don't know you in real life but don't ever "Just be your self" coz that ain't gonna work for shy person, you need to step up and be brave girl.

  • You've just gotta learn to talk to people, I was very shy too until I got my last job and it was a job where I was constantly interacting with people. Most people don't bite and won't jump down your throat just for sparking up conversation. Just take a deep breath and think about how to start the conversation and then just let it flow. If you overthink the conversation you'll just end up with awkward silences because you didn't realize that person is waiting on you to respond. Conversing with people can come as natural as brushing your teeth in the morning if you just work on making yourself an approachable person. It's really no sweat.

  • Judging by your looks, there's no need to be shy or anything related to that.

    May I ask where you're planning to go? Do you also speak another language?

    If you speak another language, you'll have great chances to get to know new people in the place you want to visit, people will be interested in you, so you will most likely not have a hard time approaching new people because they'll approach you instead. If you travel on your own, it will make you a lot more confident cause you realize how well you can care for yourself.

    I used to be in the same situation you are in now. You need to develop a special mindset that allows you to accept yourself and others. Are you good at finding common ground with a new person? If so, you'll meet new people in no time.

    And don't be hard on yourself if things don't work out the way you want them to.
    It still requires some practice. That's my advice so far.

    • And maybe a new beginning at someplace else would be very good for your mental well-being.

      Memories aren't only connected to incidents or people, but also to the place where they happened.

      You're my age, and I'm going to do the same thing. I'm moving to the Netherlands to study there. Gotta learn Dutch , German won't be of any use...

  • One person at a time... When you go out, try to set a goal to approach at least one person a week and start a conversation. It might go well, it might go terribly, doesn't matter. Then 1-2 weeks later, approach at least two people a week and start a conversation. And so on and so forth... Before you know it, you won't be quite so shy anymore.


What Girls Said 1

  • Ask yourself this.
    Well what type of people do you relate well to?


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