I think he pulled away and went into his "cave? Why doesn’t he miss me and want to talk to me?

How long can a man be in his “cave” and withdrawn? My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. We do not live together. He has been going through a lot lately with his job, health and stress in general and he has been very withdrawn. I haven’t heard from him in a week. He says he is not trying to hurt me or push me away, but he is under a lot of stress. I haven’t texted him hoping he would miss me and contact me, but he hasn’t yet. Should I continue to leave him alone or should I text him? I am so confused on what to do. Even though he is under stress, why doesn’t he miss me and want to talk to me. I am very sad right now.

Any advice/suggestions?
Has anyone experienced this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say if you haven't heard from him in a week... and you normally (before this) talk quite frequently, then give it a couple more days. Then just send a very nice quick text - like hope you are having a good day.. miss you... and that's it. If he needs space to sort things out - you need to give him that. He will totally appreciate that. Get busy - go out with friends, family, so that when you do talk to each other - it's nice and relaxing. Also, I wouldn't be like 'why didn't you call... etc'.. If it becomes a pattern, then that's another issue.

    • Thank you for taking the time to read and answer my question. We normally have good communication, but he has been distant lately because of added stress. It just hurts because I feel if he really likes me and cares about me, he would want to talk to me and miss me.

    • Not necessarily though... a guy tends to sort things out differently - unlike girls who usually like to share with other friends to process and evaluate. Men need time and space sometimes to sort things out and if you come across as being an extra stress - he can push you away. When men get stressed, you can be a safe place to rest basically - no drama, chill, and it's amazing how they will come to you again knowing they won't get extra stress from you.

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