What would you do if you were in my situation?

So i met this guy, very funny, sweet, nice , and very open minded, and not so complicated guy.

I've met him 4 times and spendt the whole weekend with him, we had sexual intercourse, and he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship and i shouldn't fall in love with him, why he said this he never explained.
I am 23 and i go to college and i work and i have a lot to do so im very busy in my day to day life. He only works, 24 and no education.
He lives in a flat with 4 other guys and they all smoke weed and he also said at times they have "drug" parties, I've never smoked or done drugs and never been in this type of enviroment.
I know he isn't good for me and that we are very different especially when it comes to life style and my friends would never approve, so i should probably just leave it and never speak to him and distance myself. I
I dont really care about the fact that he doesn't want anything serious, because like i mentioned i dont have time for a boyfriend, BUT im afraid that i will develope feelings and fall into this hole of dating someone who is kind of a mess, he is very good at his work and has goals but the drug and smoke part i dont like at all..
i mean "cross the street when you see crazy" ? should i stay or leave?
I know best thing for me and my "heart" is to leave and wait for something great.

At the same time, i want to continue this because i feel shameful for sleeping with a guy and not dating him for a long period


Most Helpful Guy

  • "I want to continue this because I feel shameful for sleeping with a guy and not dating him for a long period." The solution to your problem is not to keep hanging with a guy that you know is not good for you. The solution is to decide that there's no shame in what you did. Because there isn't. You had sex with a guy. Then you decided he wasn't worth any more of your time. There's no shame in that.

    • I texted him now and said that the casual dating won't work for me in the long run and I enjoyed spending tim with him and I hope we eventually can be friends.
      I mean its better to dump him instead of him using me and dumping me?

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    • Did I do right?

    • Yes, you did right. You were honest and kind.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Too late.
    You should have dated him for a long period THEN slept with him, if appropriate.
    Dump the stoner and find a guy that fits your beliefs better.

    • Too late? for what? i kind of had an idea that he didn't want a long rel from the beginning

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    • I, like you , don't believe the druggie type is the best way to go.
      So I would figure the best way to bow out.

    • I don't want to be dumped and I think I will be later on so what should I write him , he is a great person so we can stay friends

  • Run! If his actions go against your personal ethics... Run and don't look back. The last thing you want is to bring yourself down. I mean you are going to school to better yourself right? Best of luck!

  • This guy is essentially your friends with benefits , isn't he? So why should it matter if he tokes up during his off-time? If you wanted a relationship with him, yes, that should absolutely matter. But you both seem OK with not having a relationship. It sounds like you're conflicted about what you actually want from this guy long-term; that's something you need to get clear in your own head ASAP.


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