There is this girl that I've liked since I met her, she's so beautiful, nice and funny. She's everything. But I only met her because my best friend brought her over once when we were hanging out. I know he likes her too but he's a bit of a fuckboy... He's told everyone he likes her and no one is allowed to have her or he'll beat them up. I asked her if she likes him and she said he's hot but he's just a fuckboy so she doesn't wanna date him. The only times I've hung out with her my best friend was there, but she always ends up talking to me more than with him. I know I shouldn't have made a move on her at this party I was at. I only took the chance cause he was away, my other best friend told me not to but I couldn't resist cause she wanted me too. So we made out. Some people saw us, and told him. The next week when he came back he beat me up with his friend and he said Im never getting her again and if he ever sees me talking to her he'd beat me up.
I know you might think why am I friends with him. He's really a great and funny guy but he can be kind of controlling and aggressive sometimes and we've known each other since forever.
But my feelings for this girl is just different from any other girl, like I can't explain. I think I love her for real and she likes me. But I don't know what to do about my best friend, plus now he's being even more determined to get her. Usually I just give up when I like the same girl as he does because he always gets her anyway cause he's wayy more attractive than I am. What should I do? He's my best friend but this girl is just everything? Like she accepts me for me, and I can be myself around her, which I usually have a problem with around people in general. And my friends group is really strong on the bros before hoes thing but Im tired of hooking up with girls and I honestly feel like she's the one or at least someone that I could have along serious relationship with.
Who do I choose? And why?
- HimVote A
- HerVote B
I just can't decide on it because we are really close friends and we've gone through a lot together. Im just not sure if leaving him for a girl is the right thing to do.
Most Helpful Girl
Well it kind of goes both ways. It was wrong of him to beat you up, but I know some guys beat each other or have a fight about something then they are all good with each other afterwards. I think you made a move on her too quickly. If you know she likes you, you shouldn't have had a problem telling her that your friend likes her, and she needs to tell him that she doesn't want him and that she likes someone else before going to you, who knows if he had actual feelings for her, fuckboy or not. It seemed to me like he really cared. And it seemed like a really shady move to make a move on her while he was away. I would feel betrayed too if my best friend went straight for my crush. And hearing about it from someone else but my friend would kind of hurt and feel like a betrayal, so I see where his anger is coming from, especially if he's kept off your girls before.
Anyways, she could be a life partner, who knows? But he could be a friend of a life time too. You have already known him for 8 years, and you've only known her for 5 months. You wouldn't wanna throw away such long friendship because of some drama with a girl that could be resolved by an agreement or something.
You don't have to pick in between him or her. You say he's a fuckboy, well he'll most likely move on to another girl quickly, unless he has real feelings for her, but he'll still move on since she isn't interested in him.
You can keep both, but you have to have the girl play a part in it too and let him know that she's not interested in him, never was and is interested in you, and that she doesn't want to cause any conflict in your friendship. Its probably not going to be easy at first, but just be sure to not be all over each other in front of him, at least not in the beginning, later on may be better after he's over her.1
Most Helpful Guy
Your "friend" doesn't sound like a friend at all.
Girl doesn't even like him. You can't call "dibs" on a girl - there is something called consent - ie the girl chooses who she likes and is not chosen by some douche bag sounding loser (your friend).
You didn't "steal" her - he never had her. He beat you up because she chose you over him. He sound like a sad little person. Regardless of how long you have known either of them, he doesn't sound like someone worthy of friends. He obviously couldn't handle the rejection and took it out on you.
Do what you want. A real friend would be happy for you. The only scenario where I would say don't go for her is if she is his ex - which is not the case.0