What is everyone's opinions on dating vs. just hanging out?

So I was curious as to what everyone's opinion is on when it comes to seeing someone new. Do you believe that if a guy isn't spending money on you, then he isn't as interested in you? Or do you think just hanging out, doing activities you both enjoy and talking/getting to know one another is just as good?

I know some people say (and I've also read articles) if a guy isn't spending money on you, then he probably doesn't want to commit to a relationship or anything serious, but I don't necessarily agree with that. I dated a guy for almost a few weeks and when we went on dates, he spent about $50-$70 each time. A week after our second date he was miraculously in a relationship with another girl. I've started seeing a guy recently and we haven't really went on a date yet or anything. We've mostly just hung out in his apartment talking, watching movies, getting to know one another, playing games on the Wii (we are both into video games). Now that's not to say that I wouldn't like to go and do other things with him, such as going out to eat, going to the movies, bowling, etc. But it really hasn't came up yet. I think we're both pretty content just "hanging" out and doing what we are. It also seems like people associate hanging out with just being friends, but for me it's definitely not like that at all.

I personally don't like guys spending a lot of money on me. I also think that some guys are under the impression that if they are spending money on you, then you have to reciprocate with other things, usually sex and what not. I do believe two people can be genuinely attracted to and like each other, without the guy needing to spend all kinds of money, and just getting to know each other and doing activities you both enjoy. Doesn't need to require spending money.

What is everyone's thought on this? Do you believe that as long as you spending time with the person and getting to know them, then it shouldn't matter whether you go on actual dates or just hang out?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Where-ever you got those facts, they are completely incorrect psycological stereotypes. (The one I want to indentify with that statement is "If a man doesn't spend $$... he doesn't want to commit to a relationship")

    1) Dating - I believe that when someone desires passion, love, happyness, etc - they will fight for it, until that time happens, they will not fight for something they do not desire. This means that if you find a player that won't commit to anyone, but then he is in a bad car accident and can't move (drastic event), he will then make a decision of what he wants - does he want to find the woman of his dreams to take care of him ---? Who knows...

    2) Hanging Out - most men in my town use that as a "i want to get some one on one time with you so that I can get you interested in me". It's hilarious to watch - rather than someone making an invitation like "Hey lets go to the movies, you me - tomarrow"... People would rather say "lets hang out" or "i enjoyed this time together, we should do it again" (I too am guilty...)

    Dating would be "You & Me are together, we won't cheat etc - but we will actually make an honest attempt to work towards improving this relationship. If everything fails we will be okay with each other for the time being, but if it becomes bothersome too much, we will eventually discontinue talking"

    Hanging out - "I like you, lets get to know each other" (In some cases people will use this as a "foot in the door" leading towards parties or other things where people are quite often "used" and then left.)

    (The information here is just my observation, this isn't the 100% accurate guide to term definitions, but seriously spend some time looking at these two areas and you will see the same thing. Life is only what we want to perceive)

    Best regards,



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What Guys Said 2

  • Dating does not equal spending money. Some of the funnest dates I've ever had were free.

    The difference between dating and hanging out is in preparation and intent.

    Dating is something of a lost art these days. The defining features of a date are advanced planning and scheduling of a specific event or activity. These activities can be free, or can require money. Examples include movies, dinner, dancing, hiking, sports, sightseeing, theater, musical performances, etc. etc. etc. The point of dating, is that someone is willing to put some effort into planning and scheduling. They're going out of their way to share something special with you. They prove that they can commit (in a small way) to planning and scheduling. They prove they can make a plan, and stick to it.

    One method I like is to trade responsibility for planning dates: I plan one, she plans the next. but the catch is that you can't do the same thing twice, and you must not tell the other person what you're doing ahead of time. hanging out is specifically excluded. when girls are willing to do this alternate-planning method, it proves to me that they're a) willing to try new things, b) capable of planning and scheduling; c) not expecting me to do all the work in the relationship, d) creative thinkers, e) getting out of the house occasionally. I think it's good to alternate these mystery dates with other casual hang-out sessions, by the way ... don't mean to sound like I'm a day-planner addict.

    Hanging out requires no advance planning and no scheduling. There's nothing inherently wrong with hanging out. But it requires no effort. There's no plan. Another trouble with hanging out is that you don't really get to know someone while playing video games and watching The Office. talking is actually a minor part of getting to know someone. more important -- by far -- is evaluating their behavior. but with hanging out, you're blind to all but one facet of their lives. They don't have to plan, schedule or commit; they don't have to prove themselves so you miss an opportunity to evaluate a part of their personality.

    And FWIW, my opinion is that any girl who expects or demands that men spend money on her is no better than a whore, and that men who wine & dine are fools. I have dumped women who view me as a piggy bank.

  • Its like the guy who can attempt many questions in exam so that he may hope to pass but he is content with solving objectives.



What Girls Said 1

  • Hanging out and talking is just as good. I totally agree with you there. You should do whatever you want with him as long as it makes you happy. I love just hanging out with my boyfriend. It gives us a really good opportunity to get closer and still have fun in the process. Every once in awhile its nice to go out, but if your not going out and spending money on a date then it doesn't mean you don't want to get serious. I think its the exact opposite actually. Sitting down together just in your apartment will probably drawl you together into a serious relationship since your doing what you both like to do and not worrying about money and expenses.

    I personally don't like guys spending money on me either. Its so much easier finding things to do without bring cash into the process. For example, Making home cooked meals for each other is just as good as going out and eating at a fansy restarant. Its probably even better since your preparting it yourself. hope I helped alittle.

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