Does he love me for who I am.. however lack attraction for me?

We have been dating for 5 years. Both are waiting until marriage (even though he did *stuff* when he was 17)

We don't kiss because in the past that has made it harder to *wait*

But its been over 2 years and he has not tried to kiss me... he sticks to me like glue but I fear there is no longer any attraction for me as he may see me more as a friend. I don't get the impression that he desires me but he say's he wants to marry me. I love him but I thought by this time their should have been a lot more sexual tension.

Could this be the result of a guy with low testosterone...
Should i kiss him and find out?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm. First, I compliment in the highest for waiting! I have a friend, who, along with his bride, enjoyed their first kiss on the altar! Something I always dreamed of. Having said that, because it is so difficult for the guy especially, I believe in relatively short engagements. Making him wait five years seems like a rigorous exercise in endurance and torture. But, why is there not sexual tension there now? That's a good question. It could be that he has simply lost interest. That would be my first guess. I would ask if there was any chance he was getting any on the side (just asking). Low testosterone at your age is quite unlikely, actually. I wish I had better advice. In any case, God bless you and your marriage!

    • Thank you.

      But should I try kiss him and see? or might that just annoy him as he has been waiting until the altar.

      What are your thoughts

    • Show All
    • True, I have asked him in the past and he has reassured me. I would like to leave it at that... but i don't feel reassured for some reason.

      But thank you again.

    • Hmm.. Have you told him you don't feel reassured?

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What Guys Said 2

  • I can only think of 3 possible explanations for his behavior. 1) He has superhuman self control and has been able to completely ignore hours sexual desire for you 2) He's no longer attracted to you 3) He is sleeping with someone else. I hope it's the first 1 for your sake

    • What he said ^

      He has a lot of wisdom for being 18.

      We, as humans, aren't designed to go without closeness and the extreme closeness that we experience when you kiss or do things sexually. Millions of years evolution have instilled this in us. You are fighting it for, presumably, religious reasons? The fact that you don't kiss is very odd indeed. I think that if I did that (went 2 years without even kissing) I would come to see you as a sister.

      Lastly, testosterone has nothing to do with having a desire to kiss and be close with someone. It affects sexual desire somewhat but mostly sexual performance and not so much the desire. Furthermore, it is highly unlikely that he (if he is close in age to you) has low testosterone, let alone testosterone so low that he has lost interest.

    • Helpful. Thanks for taking the time.

      One last question while i have you.

      Should his levels of jealously be a benchmark? (Because a number of guys have assumed we were not a couple, so I often get asked out and paid attention) He does not flinch. He is also fine with me practicing my Jiujutsu.


  • If you throw yourself against a brickwall enough times the pain will eventually tell you that you should stop.


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