I've gone out with this guy a few times, basically "dates". He wanted a kiss on the first date but I kept it to a peck, same for the second time we met. He held my hand on the first date. We went to his on Friday and we cuddled and kissed, we acted like a couple who'd been together for ages. He fell asleep on me and said he only does that with people he's known a really long time so he was a bit confused. He looks at me with admiration, I feel he's treating me like a girlfriend now but I don't know if he's just enjoying the company/affection like I am.
I'm not entirely sure of him as a person/potential partner, he's not someone I see myself with for a long time. He does a lot of illegal things, he's been arrested, messes with the wrong crowd, gets into fights, excluded from school and college etc. though he's a softie with me. He doesn't seem to be over his ex either - he attempted suicide after they broke up. He gets very agitated when I talk about other guys, I can tell he's very protective and jealous which is a red flag and not dating material.
I don't feel ready for a relationship either. I'm still wounded from my past relationship. I doubt everything he tells me and I distance myself from him. I just know, I am nowhere near healed or over what's happened.
I enjoy hanging out with him, he's a laugh and because he's a "bad boy" with no limits, he's shown me a more exciting life like letting me drive his BMW and he's taught me some things. He's admitted that it takes him a while for him to make a relationship public and only one of his relationships went public; his last one. But this is going into relationship territory and I'm not ready.
How do I get this across to him without ruining our friendship and/or hurting his feelings?
Most Helpful Girl
I think you should just talk to him and say that while you enjoy his company, you aren't ready for a relationship yet. The sooner you tell him this, the better things will be. If he's really into you, it will only hurt him more the longer you wait.
Remaining friends with him is okay (if he is willing to remain friends) but you definitely need to tell him where you stand. It's highly possible that he may not want a regular friendship with you or you could hurt his feelings but it needs to be said. Keeping these thoughts to yourself is only leading him on which is unfair. Just try to deliver the message in a gentle way.
In all honesty, I feel like you should probably stay single for a while longer since your last relationship ended badly. Take some time to yourself and think about what you really want from a future partner/relationship. Give yourself time to heal.1